Sneakers will mean immediate termination. And not the fun kind.
I’ve narrowed down the reason that Sarah Palin gave her “all of them” nonsensical answer to Katie Couric when asked what newspapers and magazines she reads to two major possibilities: a) She doesn’t read or b) She realized that any answer she gave would be picked to death for hints of either Bircher right wing nuttery or librul taint. I’m inclined to say a), because there’s a perfectly good answer to avoid b), which is the Wall Street Journal. Not a big surprise, and not offensive to the nutty base.
But seriously, I’m sure she’s a fan of the crazy right wing rags, like, oh, the New York Sun that just went under. What is pure awesome is that Rick Perlstein found, through Gawker, the Sun’s employee guidebook for interns. It really lays waste to the right wing fetish for believing that they’re just ordinary folks. Check it out:
Plus, it turns out, there were underwear checks not only to make sure that you were wearing properly masculine underwear with no holes or stretched elastic, but also that you didn’t have the cheap stuff, like Haynes or Fruit of a Loom. Same story with your trouser socks—nothing you bought six to a package, or demerits.
Apparently, you also had to live around the corner.
Clearly, the job is strictly for people who are still living with their parents, and their parents live in Manhattan and have zero problem with their kids pilfering their grown-up clothes. But I think my favorite part is the part about getting the “goodnight” from an editor. It’s a quaint little requirement. Most employee handbooks would phrase it as, “Until your supervisor allows you to leave,” or some other such general-sounding language. But at the Sun, it was “goodnight” or “fuck off”. Nothing in-between. Did the supervisor make sure to tell every employee “goodnight” one by one, or did he satisfy himself by yelling it at groups of employees? Would that be insufficiently clear? What if there’s like 5 people standing around and 4 need to go home, but one needs to stay to make your coffee and file the invoices that the local madam sent you (and what good Republican doesn’t have his mailing address on file with the local sex work providers?) under “misc”? Do you say “goodnight” to each one individually, or do you yell it while cupping your hands over the unfortunate rube’s ears?
I’d say something about the byline stuff, but rumor has it that many liberal rags have the same problem. So that’s one to file under “publishing mishaps” than “ideological nutjobs unleashed”.