I Can Haz Penis In Yoo?
So, you’ve got this whole political movement focused on controlling women’s bodies, and doing so in a way that forces a restrictive, heteronormative and entirely invasive social structure on every person’s sexual choices from the womb to the tomb. The real problem with this? The other side.
Truth Through Action is running a promotion involving the tagline “I Only Sleep With Democrats, coupled with independently produced video. The basic thrust (heh…I said “basic”) is that you only sleep with people who respect your rights as a sexual being, which seems about as obvious as only sticking your hands in things that don’t grind up hands into painful, bloody hand-mush.
Somebody probably ought to write a dissertation about the complexities of this “I Only Sleep With Democrats” business. Maybe we should dismiss this stuff as silly fun for idiot kids. But it’s more fun to take this stuff way too seriously. Therefore, allow me to observe that this is offensive on too many levels to count. But also profoundly revealing about the fundamentally debased nature of partisan political commitment!
Man! So right! Instead of making informed decisions about who you have sex with based on things like “respect for you as a person” and “shared values”, you should instead boink the first person who offers their genitals to you to show that you aren’t a debased partisan. Shortly thereafter, you should obtain an STD test from the first person who offers to stick a needle into you, lest you be considered an outright traitor to your country.
Implicit in this message is that the bodies of faithful Democratic women are tools for securing the success of Democratic politicians and their clients. For what is the sexual life of a young woman if not a means to the greater glory of the Service Employees International Union? What is casual fornication if not a Duty to the Party.
Yessirree, Bob. A woman informing men that she has certain standards and values she looks for in a potential sexual partner makes her a whore for whatever interests those standards and values represent. I Only Sleep With People Who Shower? You’re a whore for Dial. I Only Sleep With People Who Read Actual Books? You’re a whore for Random House. I Only Sleep With People Who Believe In Christ? Crucifix whore.
This is a take that makes sense if you consider women nothing more than walking, talking extension of male wills who wander around looking to do nothing but please men and make major life decisions based on which men are most profitable to please, but not so much sense if you aren’t an amazingly entitled asshole. Speaking of which:
But the best sex is dirty, dirty transgressive sex. All this lame agitprop could just as easily redound to the benefit of the Young Republican with the popped collar who promises to give appalled Obama girls “the surge.” And an “I Only Sleep With Democrats” shirt on a guy might turn out to be a great way to pick up Republican lasses. Oh, the paradox that is the sexual mind!
Women want Danger Dick!
Is there anyone here who thinks that there’s anything transgressive about sleeping with a college guy with a popped-collar shirt who’s utterly convinced that you want – nay, need – to fuck him or else you’re a stupid slut? Was there a point at which this person disappeared from college campuses in a Fuckface Rapture? Will Kirk Cameron appear in the straight-to-DVD movie?