The Trojan Man’s Secret Shame
An evo psych researcher says that unprotected sex makes you happier. And really – have you seen those Valtrex commercials? Doesn’t Magic Johnson look great? Andrew Sullivan has deltoids the size of my thigh, people!
His conclusions, which are to be published in the academic journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour, angered groups anxious to promote the safe sex message and the role played by condoms in preventing unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.
Mr Brody said: “Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental.”
Mr Brody based his conclusions on a study of the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal. They filled in questionnaires about the pleasure they derived from their sex lives and contraception use.
Using a measure of psychological health developed in Canada, Mr Brody concluded that condom use was associated with members of the sample who exhibited problems dealing with stress.
Shorter crackpot: asking 210 people how they felt about using condoms, evolution tells us that this tiny group of people is unhappy because they slip on a jimmy hat. SCIENCE!
“The more often people are using condoms independent of age, independent of the nature of their relationship, the greater use of immature defence mechanisms against stress.
“In contrast, the more often they have sex without condoms, the better their mental health and the more mature their mechanisms.”
I’m wholly amazed that the man can do a detailed psych profile transcending age and relationship status using self-reported statistics among a group of…wait, Portuguese people? Why would a Scottish researcher choose Portuguese people? Well, perhaps because there’s fairly good evidence that Portuguese attitudes towards condoms and STDs are far more dismissive than those of other nationalities? That the country is predominantly and deeply Roman Catholic, and therefore disapproves of condom use?
I, for one, find it amazing how evolution results in a country of conservative Catholics who don’t like condoms and feel guilt over using them. Tricky little devil, that evolution. I’m just going to stop believing in it, and go on about my happy condom-using way. Oh…wait…FUCK YOU TRICKY CREATIONIST BASTARDS!!!