SNL: Obama explains why census includes sex questions
If the rate for the last week of census response displays a downward spiral, some might blame Saturday Night Live.
Ten months after President Obama said that his SNL portrayer was “starting to get it down a little bit,” Fred Armisen opened this weekend’s Tina Fey hosted show intoning, “Good evening, by now I’m sure that every American household has received this form in the mail: it’s the 2010 census.”
“Now despite what you may have heard on,” Armisen’s Obama paused, “um, Fox News, it’s not some socialist plot to spy on the American people. It’s the way our government collects the data we need to have a functioning society.
The faux president asks viewers to “take a few minutes to fill it out together” with him.
The first two questions are “simple enough,” but then things turn weird.
Attention birthers, deathers, antichristers and anti-government types on the far left and right [note: not all, of course, just the ones who have difficulty distinguishing reality from make-believe or folks like this guy], the following is not really question three on the 2010 census: “How important is the role of fantasy in your sex life?”
Why does question 3a ask, “For each member of the household, does sexual intercourse involve elements of a rough or aggresive nature, such as biting, slapping, choking, spitting, hair-pulling, or ‘dirty talk’?” Armisen’s Obama explains, “It’s how we obtain the data we need to plan mass transit and highway systems [pauses for laughter] and to ensure that each state is fairly represented in Congress.”
Question four from [again, not really real] “Obama’s census to castrate American Caucasians” [yes, that really is a real link to a real Free Republic discussion about a real article written by a – this writer assumes – real guy who may or may not have a real Ph.D.]: “Do you sometimes fantasize about sex with individuals, other than your spouse, who were residing in this household on April 1, 2010, such as daughter, son, mother, father, sister, brother, foreign exchange student or elderly relative (grandmother, grandfather, etc.).?”
In the real world, some Americans have already been confused by House Republicans, such as the conservative Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) and the libertarian Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX), who have promoted rebellion over real census questions they consider unconstitutional.
The first sentence of this article may seem like hyperbole, but the umpteen articles giving credit to Saturday Night Live writers for getting the press to act tougher on Obama and to Tina Fey for costing McCain/Palin countles votes, at least, are more real than the fake census the fake president read late on Saturday night (which also asked “Do you think that Jews have too much influence on Wall Street and the media?”).
This video is from NBC’s Saturday Night Live, broadcast April 10, 2010.