Taxes Are A Hell Of A Drug
Let’s let the man speak for himself.
So this year I was molested more than ever before. Hooray for success!
I’ve got two sources of income. By day, I’m the finance manager for a defense contractor. Like most of you I do the whole withholding thing where they, oh so very subtly, yank a small portion of my paycheck. (more on that later) By night, I’m a professional novelist, which means that I’m an independent contractor who has to calculate and send quarterly withholding payments myself. The last one I sent for the year literally made me tear up. I had to send the government a check for more money than my total income for any year of my life up until the age of twenty-three. (for one quarter) Oh, but my calculations were a teensy bit off, so this week, I had the opportunity to send them enough money to purchase a decent used car.
Well, let’s think about a few things here.
Larry, who works for a defense contractor, is angry about how much money the government spends on things like defense contractors. He is also publishing four (yes, four) novels this year, which one hopes are edited for the sake of the English language. He is deeply and truly angry about the fact that the financial success gained from his science fiction novels causes him to pay the government money. Probably because the money goes to pay finance managers for defense contractors who spend their time writing science fiction novels.
The man is a Moebius strip of loathing.
The government almost shut down last week over cutting 38 billion dollars… That may sound like a lot, but comparatively speaking, that’s like a 600 pound man who’s heart is about to explode congratulating himself that he got a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger… for his fifty-seventh meal of the day. Republicans backed off because they didn’t think they could win the PR battle. Let’s see… the Democrats were willing to not pay soldiers, currently fighting three wars, in order to ensure funding for abortion clinics… And you didn’t think you could win that PR fight? Seriously? Have you ever thought about maybe hiring a marketing major? I know a guy….
Please tell me that this man hires a ghost writer. Please.
After another thirteen or so paragraphs talking about how the government essentially needs to be treated like a hostage in a Quentin Tarantino movie, he starts proposing what should be cut in government (hint: none of his suggestions rhyme with “re-fence protractor”). This is just awesome:
You know what happens when a regular company runs out of money? We have to lay people off. Why is it when our economy sucks and everybody is hurting that our government grows? Obama raised government salaries to the highest level in our history, and then to show that he understood our pain, he froze salaries… Let me see if I’ve got this right? You raised your salary super high, and FROZE it THERE and now you’re telling me that’s somehow a good thing. Screw you.
Corporate welfare? Gone. We shouldn’t have to pay $10,000 in subsidies for the ridiculous Chevy Volt so that rich urban liberals can assuage their guilt. There is no Too Big To Fail, because somebody smarter than you will come along and buy your assets. Does that hurt your union pension? Cry me a friggin’ river.
I’m pretty sure Larry doesn’t know what happens when a regular company runs out of money, because he works for a motherfucking defense contractor. Keep the government off of his Medicare and off of his paycheck, folks. But also, end corporate welfare and such, and let viable private market enterprises like defense contractors stand unfettered from government intervention or regulation. BECAUSE OF FREEDOM.