Stewart: New super committee will be a ‘Legion of Doofs’
Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart took a moment Wednesday to celebrate the new Obama-Boehner debt ceiling deal before he realized that it only makes a dent in the nation’s debt.
“That’s what this whole fucking thing was about?” he asked. “This whole brewhaha, according to Diane Sawyer’s parallelogram of disappointment, managed to remove one paper-thin chocolate shaving from our Dairy Queen gut-buster sundae of debt? Who will save us now?”
Under the new law, six Democrats and six Republicans will be charged with cutting up to $1.5 trillion more from the federal deficit. If they fail to agree, deep cuts will automatically be made to Defense spending and programs like Medicare.
“Our prayers are answered,” Stewart said, making his own guess about which legislators would be included in the “Legion of Doofs.”
Senate Majority Leader Harry Leader (D-NV) was “The Senator Drone — he’ll talk to you about things for a long time.”
Senator Jon Kyl (R-AZ) was “The Trickler — his golden stream of stream of protection shields the rich — I’m sorry, the job creators.”
“Senator John McCain (R-AZ) — Old-Man Man — bitten by a radioactive even older man, Old-Man Man always gets his way and any balls that happen to land in his yard.”
“But can even the super committee, at this point, save Congress from Congress’ arch enemy: the American people?” Stewart wondered.
Watch this video from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, broadcast Aug. 3, 2011.