Obama campaign ‘retroactively apologizes’ to Mitt Romney
The campaign to re-elect President Barack Obama, in conjunction with Andy Cobb and Second City Television, has produced a new 90-second web ad that offers presumptive Republican nominee and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney the apology he demanded last week when Obama staffers ripped him for being dishonest about when he left the venture capital group Bain Capital.
Obama spokesperson Stephanie Cutter, who starred in the campaign’s previous collaboration with Second City, implied recently that Romney’s failure to come clean about the ties he still had to Bain after he left in February of 1999 make him either a liar or a felon, given that in his FEC filings, he claimed to no longer have any connection to the company.
When the Boston Globe found documents that say Romney still had ties with the company, Romney surrogate Ed Gillespie hilariously claimed that his boss had “retroactively retired” from Bain.
“In the spirit of the Romney campaign,” said Cutter in the new ad, “I’d like to announce that I have retroactively retired from the Obama campaign, and retroactively apologized, years ago, for those statements that I hadn’t yet made because I’m just that sorry.”
She went on to say that since she’s retired from the campaign, she would speak from her heart.
“Dear Mitt, Sleep well tonight,” she said, because lord knows, she wouldn’t want him laying awake all night hearing her saying, “Bain…Bain…BAIN!” in his head.
“You made a lot of money off that stuff, Mitt,” she said, “You should get it made into pillows to help you sleep when you keep thinking HOW YOU DON’T GET TO BE PRESIDENT, A-HOLE!”
Then she tore off her outfit to reveal a lady wrestler costume. “Get in the ring, Romney!” she barked, “Sunday morning, ‘Meet the Press,’ ‘Face the Nation,’ the parking-lot behind the 7-11! Stephanie Cutter apologizes like her ass chews gum!”
She says she’s back in the campaign, “And I’m ready to do ninja shit to you!”
Watch the clip, embedded via YouTube, below: