Colbert on ‘Mystery Monkey’ attack: ‘Who knows who started it?’
Stephen Colbert revisited the case of Florida’s “Mystery Monkey” Monday, following reports that it bit an elderly woman last week.
“I don’t believe you can call it an attack,” a local wildlife rescuer told WTSP-TV. “The monkey got on her shoulder, both sides freaked out.”
Colbert was skeptical of that rationale.
“Who knows who started it?” he said mockingly. “At this point, maybe the old lady jumped out of the tree.”
Colbert first covered the rhesus macaque monkey’s escape in March 2010, and not only has it remained at large, it has settled back into life in the wild, becoming an occasionally annoying part of life for residents in Pinellas County.
But the biting incident, he said, came about because of the community ignoring his “selfless attempts to macaque-block them.”
“Folks, we can not let this monkey go around mauling innocent seniors,” Colbert demanded. “Unless that’s a Social Security plan Mitt Romney’s not telling us about.”
Colbert’s update on the “Monkey On The Gram,” aired Monday on Comedy Central, can be seen below.