A New T-Shirt Line for Spencer Gifts
In a shocking turn of events, it turns out that Spencer Gifts is still around, reports Jezebel. Oh, and they’re still selling really terrible shirts that allow misogynists to identify each other in public. Lest anyone think that open misogyny isn’t still socially acceptable, let’s sadly remind each other that men, especially college age men, do wear shirts that say things like, “Twinkle twinkle little slut, name one guy you haven’t fucked” and “When I want your opinion, I’ll take my dick out of your mouth”, out in public. I have sadly seen such behavior with my own eyes. It is always sad, knowing one day guys like this will be able to hide those shirts and trick someone into having sex with them. The TSA needs to stop fucking with people on airplanes and start a list of dudes who own these shirts to be distributed to female kind.
(Who am I kidding? I get yelled at enough by female misogynists who want to screech about the evils of “free condoms” and how they’re totally cool with sexual harassment. Plenty of women see shirts like this and think, “If I suck his dick, he’ll think I’m one of the good ones.” Ladies, let me just cut to the chase: He won’t. Not that you’ll be convinced the easy way.)
Anyway, I thought the problem with these shirts is that, in our era of Jay Z chatting with old ladies on subways and Lady Gaga putting pictures of her unadorned body on Twitter, the belligerent aesthetic of these shirts is just out of date. In fitting with our new era of honesty and straightforwardness, I designed some new T-shirts that convey the same message, but with much less fanfare, than the more 20th century styles available at Spencer Gifts.
Raw. Honest. Simple. If Brooklyn hipsters were into wearing shirts advertising terminal douchebaggery, they’d be all over my new line. So what do you think, douchebags? I did it for you, because even misogynists deserve a T-shirt line more fitting with the times.
Feel free to make up some slogans of your own, Pandagonians!