Colbert: Mars rover’s penis doodle proves America’s ‘galactic supremacy’
On Wednesday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert presented a segment called “Tiny Triumphs,” in which he celebrated the fact that the Mars rover is now drawing penises on the face of the planet, meaning that America is now treating the Earth’s nearest planetary neighbor like a passed-out frat boy.
“Humanity has accomplished so much over the years,” Colbert began. “We’ve split the atom. We’ve mapped the human genome. We even put pizza on a bagel. Now we can have pizza anytime.”
Our next great frontier, he said, is Mars. Humans began to send probes and exploration satellites to the planet in the 1970s. Most recently has been the Curiosity rover, which has been driving over the planet in search of signs of life.
With its eight wheels, the Curiosity has “left humanity’s mark” on the planet, Colbert said proudly.
“We drew a penis!” he said.
“This giant graffiti peenie proves our galactic supremacy,” he went on to say. “America took a pristine planet, 140 million miles away and scribbled on it, like it was the face of a passed-out frat boy.”
Watch the video, embedded below via Comedy Central: