Jon Stewart destroys Fox News’ ‘parasitic, succubus-like existence’ in hyper-speed rant
After playing a quick-cut montage of Fox News personalities, Jon Stewart delivered his own lightning-quick rebuttal to their complaint that the U.S. had shown “weakness” by going along with Russia’s proposal to have Syria surrender its chemical weapons.
“If we caught Charlie Manson, who gives a sh*t who gets the collar?” Stewart asked. “And I get that Fox opposes a Syria peace plan because its motus operandi is to foment dissent in the form of a relentless and irrational contrarianism to Barack Obama and all things Democratic to advance its ultimate objective of creating a deliberately misinformed body politic whose fear, anger, mistrust and discontent is the manna upon which it sustains its parasitic succubus-like existence.”
But Stewart also gave credit for the diplomatic solution to “Magoo-esque accidental genius” Secretary of State John Kerry, who brought up the idea of the Syrian government offering up its chemical weapons stockpile, a proposal it would later accept.
“Magoo, you’ve done it again,” Stewart gushed. “Holy sh*t. Syria is taking him up on his d*ckish offer.”
And Stewart also chided CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer for trying to coax President Barack Obama into directly into the camera during an interview and speak “directly” to his Syrian counterpart, Bashar al-Assad.
“F*ck, man,” Stewart said in an exasperated tone. “It’s an interview. Stop trying to make moments. You’re talking to the leader of the free world about how we might avoid a possible World War III. You don’t need to amp up the drama with theatrics.”
When Obama demurred, saying it’s likely Assad “had people watching,” Stewart was briefly shaken.
“I can’t believe Assad uses CNN on his own people,” he gasped.
Watch Stewart skewer the news coverage on Syria, as posted on YouTube: