Jon Stewart flushes Louie Gohmert’s ‘plumbing lessons’ argument against marriage equality
Daily Show host Jon Stewart destroyed Rep. Louie Gohmert’s argument on Thursday that the Supreme Court needed “plumbing lessons” in the wake of recent rulings legalizing marriage equality in conservative states.
“You’re right, Louie Gohmert — we have to model all sexual relationships on plumbing, where the only acceptable match is a male pipe to a female fitting. Unless you have a male-to-male connection. Or a female-to-female coupling. Or a hookup between two males of different sizes and one female.”
However, Stewart found himself on the wrong end of the rhetorical fluorish when he chided Utah’s decision not to recognize same-sex marriages following a ruling by the high court.
“You’ve gotta figure this out Utah,” Stewart said. “Right now these couples are simultaneously considered both married and unmarried — a Schrödinger’s couple, if you will.”
“No I won’t, Jon,” correspondent Jason Jones objected, saying Stewart was mistakenly invoking the famous “Schrödinger’s cat” experiment for his joke
“A legal discordance is hardly analogously to quantum indeterminancy,” Jones scoffed.
“I didn’t realize you had such a fluency in post-Neutonian physics,” Stewart said.
“Well, perhaps next time you won’t be so cavalier in your assumptions about me,” Jones responded before stepping away from his desk. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I seem to have gotten my p*nis stuck inside this canteloupe.”
“Either that, or you’ve got a terrible mosquito bite,” Stewart observed.
Watch Stewart and Jones’ bizarre interlude, as posted online on Thursday, below.