Lanny Davis to #Benghazi! Hillary Clinton’s presidential hopes with his Lanny Davisness
When he wasn’t joshing around about starting a nuclear war with Russia , Ronald Reagan — former President and Peggy Noonan’s favorite foot fetish model — liked to joke that: “The most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.'”
I’m sure that anybody who has ever received help from a non-‘Heckuva a job Brownie’ iteration of FEMA would probably disagree, as would anyone who ever received an email,offering his help for a modest fee, from the snail-trail made flesh that is Lanny Davis.
Davis, whom you may remember from America’s darkest era,
the Civil War the Depression the McCarthy hearings Vietnam war Bethenny Getting Married? Bill Clinton got a blowjob, is a for-hire lawyer/spinmeister whose moral compass is always permanently locked onto magnetic $.
Got a ‘for-profit’ diploma mill that trades out worthless diplomas for some sweet student loan money? Lanny is your man to make it go down smooth.
Are you a brutal African despot who just can’t get no international lovin’? Just call 1-800- LANNY DAVIS.
It goes without saying that Lanny is the one stop shopping site for most ‘muggers, buggers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers and horse thieves’ because when it comes to “how low will you go?” Davis is the Mariana Trench of spin.
So Hillary Clinton, whose choice in men can occasionally be less than stellar coughMarkPenncough, cannot be happy that Lanny Davis has decided to publicly throw some pro bono services her way by setting up a Lanny Davis Truth Squad & Bake Sale card table outside of the committee room hosting Benghazi Boo Radley’s Mouthbreater’s Bonnaroo.
Davis will take his Truth Squad operation offline, setting up a table outside committee hearings, where volunteers will give reporters and lawmakers fact sheets, or booklets of facts — depending on what he decides to have printed.
Republicans, are already having second thoughts about handing some matches and kerosene to Abner Snopes with a worse haircut, so having Davis around can only fan the Hillary Benghazi flames since an appearance by him on your behalf is considered a legal admission of guilt in at least 27 states. And Puerto Rico.
I should reiterate that Lanny is doing this on his own dime, not that he’s investing more in it than running up a small tab (two-sided, no color) at Kinko’s :
At one point, he said, one suggested he house the project on a website. “All of a sudden people are making all sorts of suggestions,” he said on Wednesday afternoon. “We’re hoping to get BenghaziTruthSquad.com.” But by Wednesday evening, Davis said he had decided against an online presence, citing costs.
“I priced it out, and that’s where I stood by day’s end.”
Davis said he may rely on materials printed by Correct the Record, a research operation aimed at defending Hillary Clinton from partisan attacks.
Because setting up a free website at Blogspot and cutting and pasting is so cost-prohibitive.
It’s entirely possible that this project may fall by the wayside after a call from Hillary or, better yet, a restraining order, dissuades Lanny from handing out flyers to Congressmen and reporters like so many Tracy Flick cupcakes.
There is also a chance that Lanny can still land the Boko Haram account that he probably pitched — thereby diverting his attention elsewhere — but I wouldn’t hold out much hope of that.
Boko Haram may be full of fundamentalist psychopaths who have horrified the world with rape, kidnapping, and murder … but they’re not that crazy.