CNN taunts Mitt Romney, now wants him to get beat by a girl
CNN has a new 2016 presidential election poll out, two-and-a-half years before the actual election so you know these numbers will hold/are set in stone/are immutable. And, if Ann Romney just glanced over the first paragraph like most CNN readers do — which is why they are so awesomely informed — she probably told Mitt, “Oh look, honey, you should run again,” over a nice bowl of Cream o’ Wheat this morning.
If a rematch of the 2012 presidential election were held today, GOP nominee Mitt Romney would top President Barack Obama in the popular vote, according to a new national survey.
Woo-hoo! Buyers remorse! America is super sorry they voted for the blah guy and now would like to take him back for a refund except the return policy says must be returned within ninety days, must include original packaging, and receipt. Let’s not even talk about that stupid extended warranty America bought, which is non-refundable.
But — still — this is good news for Mitt Romney, right? America is hankering for his steady hand, those shoulders you can land a 747 on, and his almost human-like laughter indicating his approval and physical joy at humorous words strung together or at the thought of purchasing a company, gutting of its assets, and bankrupting it, but still making a nice return on investment which is then sheltered in an off-shore account. #RomneyLOL
So Romney should run again because America is saying, “Baby come back, I’ll be better to you this time, I swear.”
But a CNN/ORC International poll also indicates that if Romney changes his mind and runs again for the White House, Hillary Clinton would best him by double digits in a hypothetical showdown.
Well, sure, but that’s just a hypothetical which is just a fancy word for bullshit.
The survey, released Sunday morning, also suggests that more Americans see Clinton as a strong and capable leader than those who feel the same way about Obama. But Clinton’s numbers on five personal characteristics have slightly edged down the past few months.
Clinton is tumbling, five different ways! Again, good for Romney.
Romney has said numerous times that he won’t run for the White House again. But what if things changed and he ended up as the GOP nominee in 2016? The CNN poll indicates that 55% of Americans would support Clinton, with Romney at 42%.
Oh, well that’s not good. At this point, Romney must be experiencing more ups and downs than a car elevator.
But still, he ‘s the best bet of a bad lot:
Thirteen percent of Republicans and independents who lean towards the GOP say they’d likely back Christie, with Sen. Rand Paul of Kentucky and former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, a 2008 Republican presidential candidate, each at 12%. Perry – who ran for the White House last time around – and Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin – the 2012 GOP vice presidential nominee – are both at 11%.
Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush and Sen. Ted Cruz of Texas are both at 8%, with Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida at 6%, Gov. Scott Walker of Wisconsin at 5% and former Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, who battled Romney deep into the 2012 GOP primary calendar, at 3%.
You’ll notice that CNN didn’t include Michele Bachmann — probably because they’re racist against crazy people– but this is still shaping up to be a fun fun fun race for the GOP nomination, even before Pamela Michener throws her hat in the ring.
We now return you to two more years of think pieces on why Elizabeth Warrren should run even though she’s all, “No man. Hard pass…”
(Image via Donkey Hotey on Flickr, Creative Commons licensed]