John ‘Derp’ Kasich: These epic fails are the only things worth remembering about him
While John Kasich garners more attention from the press for quitting his campaign than he ever did while stumping for president, here at Raw Story, we’ve gathered together a sort of greatest hits collection of the candidate’s most awkward moments.
Choosing a single favorite was too difficult; thus, we offer an EP’s worth of cringe-worthy moments from his
aborted suspended campaign.
Pink Floyd fans wondered if they had landed on the dark side of the moon when Kasich promised to re-unite the band during an interview with CNN.
“And if I’m president, I’m am going to once and for all try to reunite Pink Floyd to come together and play a couple of songs,” he continued. “And since we have so much trouble in America with our finances, I’m going to start with a little song they created called ‘Money’.”
Kasich, who once vowed to ban teachers’ lounges if he were king of the world, started musing about his love of Pink Floyd while explaining that “The Wall” was the best concert he had ever been to.
Kasich accidentally invoked the blood libel and ritual murder while explaining to Jewish voters how much he loves “the Passover.”
“The great link between the blood that was put above the lamp posts,” he said, seemingly unaware that “lamp posts” were not in the Passover story. “The blood of the lamb, because Jesus Christ is known as the lamb of God. It’s his blood, we believe…” Raw Story reported.
In the Middle Ages, Christian clerics whipped up anti-Jewish hysteria by claiming that Jews were so envious of Christians that they ritually murdered Christian children. During Passover, it was claimed, Jews added blood to the matzoh to turn it into the Eucharist.
Samantha Bee, at Full Frontal, jumped all over his mangling of the Passover story during his “Birthright” tour of Brooklyn, “where he rained down condescension like a plague of frogs falling from the sky,” before playing the clip of the “Blood on the Lamp posts” explanation from Kasich.
“Whaaat? Did John Kasich just fan fiction Jesus into ‘the Passover?’ Then, as she explains to Kasich why you don’t talk about Christ’s blood during Passover, woodcuts depicting Simon of Trent, a ritual murder accusation against the Jews living in Trent in 1475 whipped up by unhinged Franciscan cleric Bernardino da Feltre.
In another moment where Kasich alienated the very people he was attempting to woo, he declared that his campaign was running off the labor of “women who left their kitchens to go out and go door to door and to put yard signs up for me.”
Perhaps realizing that referring to women in their kitchens wouldn’t play well in 2016, Kasich quickly added that things had been different when he first ran for elected office. The fact that Kasich had just signed a bill, the weekend before this campaign stop, de-funding Planned Parenthood in Ohio, made for awkward questions from women in the audience. The backhanded longing for the days when women only ventured out from their kitchens to support his campaign combined with the de-funding of an organization that contributes to female independence revealed Kasich to be less “moderate” than his campaign staff had been painting him.
Kasich offered rape-prevention tips to a young woman at a campaign stop in Watertown, New York when she asked him for his plan as president to make her “feel safer … [from] sexual violence, harassment, and rape.”
“I will give you one bit of advice. Don’t go to parties where there’s a lot of alcohol,” Kasich said. He also pointed out to her that rape kits and counseling service were available to rape victims.
And while it would be possible to continue the greatest hits to compile an LP, this playlist will stop with this last one. Kasich offered a plan to defeat ISIS (daesh) when Salon reported that he wanted to broadcast propaganda as a means of defeating “the darkness.”
“We need to beam messages around the world about what it means to have a Western ethic, to be a part of a Christian-Judeo society,” Kasich said in an interview Tuesday with NBC News, announcing his plan to create a new federal agency tasked with supporting the Jewish and Christian traditions around the world. Kasich said his new agency would have a “clear mandate to promote core Judeo-Christian, Western values that we and our friends and allies share.”