Lewis Black rants to Colbert about the RNC: ‘I would rather be in a latrine’
Lewis Black stopped by “The Late Show” for a very informal discussion about the Republican National Convention.
Host Stephen Colbert asked Black why he appeared to be wearing surgical scrubs, and Black said he’d been watching the convention at home and walked over for his appearance.
“I don’t wear a suit when I’m at home,” Black said. “I don’t dress up to watch those idiots. I put on my pajamas, normally, but since I’ve got to work, especially when I watch these conventions, I like to get a morphine drip, and I lie back on my couch, and I let it drift over me. Sometimes, when I get really angry, I like to tear off my clothes, run around naked, and scream like a banshee.”
Colbert said he would have fit in Wednesday night at the convention in Cleveland, which he said “got a little crazy,” and he asked Black if the anger on display appealed to his own sensibilities.
“I would rather be in a latrine (than attend the RNC),” Black said. “Seriously, picking up those bars that make it smell nice.”
Black said he wasn’t all that excited about Sen. Ted Cruz’s non-endorsement speech.
“I stopped listening to Ted, but I listened tonight because of you, but I stopped listening to him during the filibuster,” Black said. “He started quoting, reading ‘Green Eggs and Ham,’ and that was when I made the decision that I would not listen to him again unless he was wearing aluminum foil on his head.”
Colbert asked how Americans ended up with Trump and Hillary Clinton, the two least popular presidential candidates in history.
“It’s a social experiment,” Black said. “We are making the attempt — you know, we’ve done it with people we like, and it hasn’t worked out — so let’s just, if we picked people that we really don’t like, maybe it’ll work that way. You know, democracy’s great, but somehow it’s just not working.”
Colbert suggested that maybe the candidates were some form of punishment, and Black agreed that was an interesting concept.
“I think what we should do is tie them together, just tied up all day, and that’s the way they’ve got to function and deal with the presidency,” Black said. “What we have now is Donald, he’s a crank, versus Hillary, who’s cranky. Crank versus cranky — it’s not good. We have to stop these conventions. That has to stop. Four days? It’s a pep rally. I’ve never liked pep rallies. Did you ever like pep rallies? No one should be on the pep squad. You don’t yell before they play — you yell when they play.”
“Yelling for politicians?” he continued. “What is the matter with you? That’s like a pep rally for a bowling team.”
Watch the entire segment posted online by The Late Show With Stephen Colbert: