therawstory | about us

Christopher Burke
Columnist

While Chris was born and raised on bad accents and Red Sox heartbreak he noticed many people on this staff are either from or currently living in Boston. Thus he graciously has agreed to claim Mobile, Alabama, as his hometown. He since has become an ardent fan of all types of car racing, Waffle House and the 700 Club.

After college, or as he remembers it, the years when he could sleep till noon and have beer for breakfast, he made the unforgivable decision to go to law school. It was around this time he acquired his own personal stalker — some woman named Sallie Mae who still calls almost daily. Chris doesn’t remember ever meeting a girl named Sallie, but he’s flattered by the attention.

The post law school prospect of early mornings and long hours sitting in an office surfing the Internet aimlessly led Chris to chase that restless noontime alarm to Los Angeles. Currently an aspiring screenwriter, he can’t promise his column won’t feature the occasional kung-fu battle or car chase. He spends his spare time planning the downward Hollywood spiral he will embark upon once he actually sells a script. He currently is considering expensive drugs and cheap women, or alternatively, cheap drugs and expensive women. He is open to suggestions, but not before noon.