Comments:[Add New]
August 28th, 2006 at 16:39:43  From: me
Religion will pay hucksters a lot more than that. The supply of morons who believe religious crap is inexhaustible.
August 28th, 2006 at 16:41:25  From: CD
If they're talking about starting a philisophical group power to them. If they're trying to actualy start a new religion ala Scientology that's not funny.
August 28th, 2006 at 17:23:04  From: me
Scientology is no better and no worse - and certainly makes no more sense - than Islam or Christianity or any other of that garbage.
August 28th, 2006 at 17:43:02  From: Plankton
I was a member of the Church of the Partridge Family. No lie. Got converted at the first Lollapalooza in a fitlhy white tent. It opened my eyes. But it's still funny to hear myself when I'm mad say "Danny Bonaducce damn it!"
August 28th, 2006 at 17:51:36  From: Rex
Give me the $5000 and i'll start a religion that would be so good, I might even believe in it myself.
August 28th, 2006 at 18:09:14  From: Screw Jesus
I've got a god to sell you, and he doesn't care if you're a hypocrite.
August 28th, 2006 at 19:34:57  From: Richard Cleary
Quick! Call Pious Pete. A more hypocritical "Christian" can't be found. And the buzz is he needs a building for his "flock."
August 28th, 2006 at 20:41:54  From: WJM
5 grand and I will start the Gathering of the Almighty 'Trane. Once a week we will get together and get on the right track (sorry, bad pun) by listening to the works of the great John Coltrane. We will explore the universe as it is unfolded in the wonder of the soprano saxophone and the greatest master thereof. Week one: "My Favorite Things", from the first recording to the last. As this will take about 4 hours, only the truly faithful will show up and stay for the whole service, but that is what we want. If you can't stay for 4 hours, you don't belong in my flock. Amen, ah, women.
August 28th, 2006 at 21:03:45  From: h m m m m . . . .
$ 5000 . . . ?
$ 5000 . . . ? I'll do it for $ 4000.
August 28th, 2006 at 21:19:34  From: WJM
Ah, don't ever sell your faith short. If it's worth shoving down everyone else's throats, it's worth taking ALL the money for.
August 28th, 2006 at 21:33:08  From: Independent
Yeah, and if it's a religion that is "condoned" by current xtian standards, we'll even give you public money, in direct violation of the 1st Amendment!
August 28th, 2006 at 23:00:40  From: 
more religious stupidity...
August 28th, 2006 at 23:54:11  From: 
Scientology was created by a science fiction writer who not long before founding the cult said "I’d like to start a religion. That’s where the money is." so don't compare Scientology to Islam or Hinduism or any other real faith thank you.
August 28th, 2006 at 23:55:51  From: YourWorstNightmare
Give the $5000
to kurt vonnegut. there's more than a few Bokononists out there.
August 29th, 2006 at 02:01:26  From: johns
The Church of John Coltrain is my church and all the church I need. Thank you very much.
August 29th, 2006 at 04:09:50  From: The new Mess Hi Yah!
For 5 grand I'll start a religion for that guy's documentary. I'll call my church the "Church of Infinite Suckers". And my title will be the "Grand Poobah of the Most Holy Moly there Andy". At the end of each of my sermons I'll take a pair of dice and shake them in my fist and as I throw them down the center aisle I'll yell "Daddy needs a new Caddy, so cough up your dough before you go, Suckers!" Then my shakedown guys, uh, I mean my ushers will walk around to each worshipper and frisk them for their contribution. If anyone refuses to give they will pick them up by the legs and bounce their heads against the floor till all their change falls out. On special nights I'll give "faith healing" sessions. But mine will be different. I'll be healing my faith in the almighty dollar by extracting all of yours from your purses and wallets. If you gotta problem with that my ushers will take your mind off your missing money by breaking your arm or a leg so it won't matter that you're missing your cash... Yea, it's not unlike a lot religions that exist already. Preachers take your money and promise you that you'll get your "pie in the sky when you die". Of course, they won't call you "suckers" to your face but that's what you really are to them when it comes right down to it. So, send me that $5k today.
August 29th, 2006 at 04:51:14  From: 
From: The new Mess Hi Yah!
Cannot stop laughing.. Well written story.
August 29th, 2006 at 09:27:32  From: me
"don't compare Scientology to Islam or Hinduism or any other real faith" - I repeat, Scientology is just as phony, crooked, and downright fucking stupid as every other religion.
August 31st, 2006 at 09:07:02  From: Andy
You can still apply...
there's already a church of St John Coltrane (sorry!), but feel free to apply for the position! www.startyourownreligion.org
September 29th, 2006 at 00:00:59  From: Joshua Boden
$5000
Hey cats. For what its worth...the money has to go towards starting the church...Im just as broke as I ever was... Peace, Joshua Boden the church of NOW!
Add Comment:
Name:
Location:
Subject:
Message:
Verification Code
Verification Code: