| > > While walking down the street one day, George "Dubya" Bush is struck
> > by a large wheel of cheese that fell out the cargo door of SwissAir,
> > flight 119.
> >
> > Sadly, George does not make it. His soul arrives in heaven and he is
> > met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.
> >
> > "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, we seldom
> > see Republicans around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with
> > you."
> >
> > "No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Dubya.
> >
> > "I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man Himself.
> > He says you have to spend one day in hell and one day in heaven. Then
> > you choose where you'll live for eternity."
> >
> > "But, I've already made up my mind; I want to be in heaven."
> >
> > "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts
> > him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to hell.
> > The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf
> > course; the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a
> > perfect 72 degrees. In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. There is
> > a Texas-style barbecue featuring cloned cattle and genetically
> > engineered corn. Standing in the crowd are his dad and thousands of
> > other Republicans who had helped him out over the years: Karl Rove,
> > Rush Limbaugh, Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell. Everyone is laughing,
> > happy, casually but expensively dressed. They run to greet him, hug
> > him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at
> > expense of tree huggers and liberals. They play a friendly game of
> > golf. The devil himself comes up to Bush with a frosty drink and says,
> > "Have a BGH milkshake and relax, Dubya!"
> >
> > "Uh, I'm watching my weight," says George, sadly.
> >
> > "This is hell, son. You can drink and eat all you want and not worry,
> > and it just gets better from here!" says Satan. Dubya takes the shake
> > and finds himself liking the devil, who is a very friendly guy who
> > tells funny jokes and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like a
> > Yale Skull and Bones brother with real horns. They are having such a
> > great time that, before he realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone
> > gives him a big hug and waves as Bush steps on the elevator and heads
> > upward.
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