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Colbert: Today's kids don't know how to help except by linking
Mike Aivaz and Muriel Kane
Published: Thursday September 20, 2007

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Stephen Colbert added his own slant to the story of a University of Florida student tasered by campus police after he became obnoxious in asking questions following a John Kerry speech.

"Look at these guys in the back," Colbert said, highlighting one frame from the video of the event. "You don't need a Fox body language expert to tell you that kid in orange is bored. He's probably thinking something like, 'I wish they'd stop tasering this guy so I could go home and watch this guy getting tasered on YouTube.'"

"I don't know whether the tasered gentleman had a legitimate point to make or was just being an ass," continued Colbert. "One thing you can't argue is that his cause was joined by hordes of no one. ... Students used to be a rebellious bunch. ... Today's kids are so different."

"The kids in that auditorium who sat idly by as their fellow student was seized, thrown to the ground, and tasered didn't lack the courage to help," Colbert went on. "They're just so used to watching videos like 'Crazy guys thrown out of lecture hall' that they didn't know how to help other than to link to it. I'm sure that guy in the orange is going to spring into action as soon as he gets home and fires up his blog."

"And that's what's so great about this new kind of activism," Colbert concluded. "It's convenient. Just like masturbation. It's better than sex because it's on your own time. So ... make me proud, young people. Continue waging your protests from the polite distance of your home computers. Make 'the Man' wish he'd never visited your site. And if a fellow-student is denied the right to speak, remember, the best way to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with him is by sitting alone in your seat."

The following video is from Comedy Central's Colbert Report, broadcast on September 19, 2007.