Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert thinks the U.S. government has made a big mistake by dropping the Bush-era color-coded terror alert system for a new system that has only two threat levels: elevated and imminent.

“Without these bright colors, how will I know what flavor my fear is?” Colbert asked Thursday.

“Since the color code was put into effect in March 2002, we have existed in a national constant state of semi-hysteria and suddenly [Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano] is saying we can all relax?”

“If my natural paranoia is no longer validated by a government color chart, I will accept the new paradigm, and for the first time in nine years, I’m going to unclench my sphincter,” he added.

Watch this video from Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, broadcast April 28, 2011.