Comedy Central’s Stephen Colbert Tuesday outlined a new report by the conservative Heritage Foundation that complains the poor in America “have air conditioning, cable TV, and a host of other modern amenities.”

“You will not believe some of the stuff poor people have in their homes,” Colbert reported. “Luxury’s like ceiling fans, DVD players, answering machines and coffee makers.”

“I don’t have those things,” he admitted. “I have central air, a Blu-Ray player and I go to Starbucks every day.”

“This report proves that poor people are just not living down to our expectations. If you still have the strength to brush the flies off your eyeballs, you’re not really poor.”

Watch this video from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, broadcast July 26, 2011.