On the September 27 Late Show with David Letterman, the show’s nightly Top Ten list featured “The Top Ten Ways the Country Would be Different if Chris Christie Were President”. Letterman opened by calling New Jersey’s Governor Christie “the tubby guy across the river” and didn’t get any less merciless as the segment progressed.

Although honestly, we don’t see the problem with “Number 8: Cabinet will now include a Secretary of Cake”. Cake is important. You’re more likely to get struck by lightning than attacked by a terrorist, but there’s a significant chance that you could face cake each and every day of your life.

Watch the video, embedded via YouTube, below.