I’m Not Saying Obama Is A Fascist

By Jesse Taylor
Sunday, July 13, 2008 18:56 EDT
google plus icon
  • Print Friendly and PDF
  • Email this page

imageI’m just saying he’s a very Nationalized Socialist.

Take his decision to deliver his acceptance speech at Invesco Field at Mile High in Denver. It seems that the venue for the rest of the Democratic convention – the Pepsi Center (occupancy 21,000) – is just too small.

Obama says he wants to give the common folk more “access” to the process. Only a man with an Olympian’s sense of entitlement to mass worship could describe such a choreographed descent upon a place called “Mile High” as an effort to bond with the common man. A demigod, it seems, is never so tall as when he stoops to bask in the adoration of the little people.

Barack Obama, a man whose powers of time travel have already been seen a few times during this campaign (such as when he went back in time and manufactured his own birth certificate), once again shows the secrets of the universe unlocked by his fascist tinkering with the edges of perception and reality. He apparently engineered not only the placement of the Democratic Convention a full month before he declared his candidacy (easy enough, given that he probably did the latter once the former was ensured), but also engineered the very placement and nicknaming of the city of Denver.

You see, Barack Obama not only systematically placed gold along a great portion of the Western half of the United States in the early 19th century – easy enough for a man of his intellect – but he got James Denver elected governor of the Kansas territory and ensured that General William Larrimer would stumble upon the elevated land and stake a claim to Denver City in order to gain favor with the good Governor. What’s the telltale sign?

Barack Obama’s family has roots in Kansas. Only a man with such ego would leave such a telltale sign – luckily, though, he went from Hawaii to New York, staying away from the scene of the crime as an opportunity opened up to take a seat in Columbia’s undergrad class. From a white dude.

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
By commenting, you agree to our terms of service
and to abide by our commenting policy.