The Lexicon Of John McCain

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Is John McCain seriously reluctant to talk about Vietnam, my friends, seriously?

We are, after all, repeatedly told that he is, my friends, to the point where supporters seriously – can I – seriously implore him to – seriously, really – talk about it more.

My friends, even when John McCain travels overseas – and partisanship does end at the water’s edge, at least, seriously, for the person that’s overseas – he’s reluctant to talk about it, as national media will tell you after relating the story that he told them in his utter reluctance. I know that I frequently share reluctant stories with a national media that will inevitably cover them, as you can see on my upcoming CNN special, Living With Bedwetting, anchored by John King. Seriously.

His reluctance is so thorough, so absolute, that he trails off for literal seconds, my friends, before he starts ruminating on the experience.

McCain was likewise reluctant to ask Psuedo-Presidential Liaison Joe Lieberman to join his campaign. He was reluctant to engage in personal criticism of Hillary Clinton. He was reluctant about his support for George W. Bush.

I don’t think it’s less possible for the word “reluctant” to mean “reluctant”, short of a wholesale rewrite of the dictionary.