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Stop Promoting Marriage!

By Jesse Taylor
Monday, August 25, 2008 1:03 EDT
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The American Family Association seeks to interfere with the free market by asking Hallmark to stop making same-sex marriage cards.

Not that I’m suggesting any sort of ratfuckery, but if you’d like to send a message of support to Hallmark instead, they’ve already got the form and e-mail ready and everything…

This actually brought to mind the phenomenon of period parties – celebrations of a girl’s first steps into adulthood, welcoming the responsibility and possibilities that are now open to her. I remember them because of a local news item I saw once (unfortunately, I can’t remember anything else about it except that it was in a suburban subdivision), wherein such a party was being thrown and other households called the cops on them for public vulgarity. Because if there’s anything to get squicky about, it’s something that the majority of human beings have to deal with for thirty-plus years at a time on a monthly basis. Obviously, the best way to deal with the inevitable biological development of your daughter’s body is to utterly deny it until she wakes up bleeding and thinks she’s dying. Far more psychologically beneficial.

What I enjoy about this the most is the form letter you’re prompted to send:

I am surprised that Hallmark is promoting an unhealthy lifestyle which is illegal in 48 states. There was a time Hallmark told us to send the very best. Sorry to see you have taken a giant step down. No more. American Greeting Cards, your competitor, will be getting my business.

A public health and legal argument…nice. It reminds me of when Hallmark briefly sold those Needle Party cards in the late-80s. “There’s no point if you don’t share a point!” Man, those were the days.

Does anyone doubt that if Hallmark makes money from these cards, AGC will be printing more rainbows and hearts than the invites for a My Little Pony convention?

UPDATE: Commenters point out that your message is more likely to get read if you contact Hallmark through their website. Hop to it!

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
 
 
 
 
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