John McCain Is White

By Jesse Taylor
Tuesday, August 26, 2008 12:22 EDT
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imageBecause Barack Obama is black, it is his solemn duty to weigh in on everything other black people do, especially as it relates to music. You see, Negroes have been making music with naughty lyrics for a while, and since Negroes support Barack Obama, Barack Obama therefore supports everything Negroes do. Kind of like how he helped William Ayers set bombs when he was eight years old – the overarching sense of responsibility that blackness brings actually transcends race. And time. Obama has yet to weigh in on the failure in sanitation that helped cause the Black Plague several hundred years ago, but a statement should be forthcoming.

Of course, John McCain is white. Very white. So white that he can starfuck Latino rapper Daddy Yankee and it doesn’t matter. He doesn’t have to answer for anything, say or do anything more strenuous than, “Here’s Daddy Yankee!” Although it’s fun that the McCain magic transferred over to this event, what with McCain drawing what sounds like about 200-300 people to see this heartthrob, why doesn’t McCain have to answer for this chorus?

I got my heat, I got my balls
and enough heart to break all y’all jaws.
But I rather round up my niggas from Puerto Rico
to help me out with this war
Now bring it on
Now bring it on
Say bring it on
Now bring it on

Daddy Yankee spends much of his time around the same brand of Objectionable Negro that Barack Obama has had to answer for, from Snoop Dogg to Akon to G-Unit, but somehow when he latches on to a Presidential candidate, it’s perfectly fine – he’s even a heartthrob! If only black people could somehow figure out a way to have one black person do something without all black people being responsible for it…I’m sure one day we’ll figure it out, right after Nubian Cold Fusion.

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
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