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Won’t someone please think of the cake toppers?

By Amanda Marcotte
Thursday, September 18, 2008 23:11 EDT
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PZ found what’s sure to be this week’s finest choadery. This California couple Rachel Bird and Gideon Codding are such vile bigots that they’re boycotting marriage because gay people get to have it now.

Those are the terms that have replaced “bride” and “groom” on the state’s new gender-neutral marriage licenses. And to Bird and Codding, that is unacceptable.

“We are traditionalists – we just want to be called bride and groom,” said Bird, 25, who works part time for her father’s church. “Those words have been used for generations and now they just changed them.”

In May, after the California State Supreme Court ruled same-sex marriage legal, the courts mandated state officials to provide gender-neutral licenses and other marriage forms. “Bride” and “groom” became “Party A” and “Party B.”

Really, I sure the state of California gives a flying fuck. I bet the Governator lays in bed awake at night, tossing and turning, because a couple of hateful idiots won’t get a marriage license. That this pitiful straight couple isn’t married is reason enough to dissolve the thousands of marriages that have been created in the wake of California legalizing gay marriage. That’s fair, right?

If you’re guessing that these people, who are inflicting this on themselves, are going to whine about how they’re victims, then you know your fundamentalist Christians!

Bird and Codding have refused to complete the new forms, a stand that has already cost them. Because their marriage is not registered with the state, Bird cannot sign up for Codding’s medical benefits or legally take his name. They are now exploring their options, she said…..

“Those who support (same-sex marriage) say it has no impact on heterosexuals,” said Brad Dacus of the Pacific Justice Institute. “This debunks that argument.”

Irony is completely lost on these people. Oh boo hoo, they don’t get the benefits of marriage because they aren’t married. Perhaps if they thought about that for a millisecond, they’d realize that’s why it’s necessary to legalize gay marriage. This is dumber than the McCain campaign hiding behind the word “choice” in their press release about Bristol Palin’s pregnancy. Words like “traditionalist” can’t hide the reality of this—this couple thinks so little of gay people that they think their “right” to use gendered terms on what is basically a glorified version of any other state document supersedes the real rights of gay people to marry for love like straight people get to do. And they’re foolish enough to believe they’ll win people’s sympathies, because you know, they’re straight, and so we have to like them despite the stink of unwashed assholery.

The couple is claiming this is “personal”, and not religious, presumably because they’ve inherited the wingnut love of pathological lying and/or their disdain for reality-based evidence gathering. Of course there’s some two bit pastor behind this, the parent of one of the wannabe spouses.

Bird’s father, Doug Bird, pastor of Roseville’s Abundant Life Fellowship, said he is urging couples not to sign the new marriage forms, and that he is getting some support from congregants and colleagues at local churches.

“I would encourage you to refuse to sign marriage licenses with ‘Party A’ and ‘Party B,’ ” he wrote in a letter that he sent to them. “If ever there was a time for the people of the United States to stand up and let their voices be heard – this is that time.”

Sit on your asses when it comes to war, for all he cares. Turn your backs on the poor and the suffering. What mortgage crisis? What health care crisis? What AIDS epidemic? These are but minor issues compared to the most pressing problem that faces our nation—gay people are eating wedding cake as we speak. And that’s after the wedding cake has been been all goofed up because two cake toppers were split apart and rebuilt so that it looks like they’re groom/groom or bride/bride.

Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.
 
 
 
 
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