Voters Aren’t Votes

By Jesse Taylor
Thursday, October 9, 2008 17:11 EDT
google plus icon
  • Print Friendly and PDF
  • Email this page

Here’s the entire thing about registering to vote: it’s the act of trading in a set of information about your self which may or may not allow to subsequently register your choice for a series of offices and issues at a time and place of someone else’s choosing.

It is not, however, voting, a distinction which seems to elude many voter/vote fraud theorists. There’s a reason most of us aren’t too pressed about ACORN handing in bad voter registrations – while it’s certainly inconvenient and even potentially illegal to do so, a voter registration for a voter that doesn’t exist generally doesn’t result in an actual vote, making the entire thing more a comedy of errors than a grave threat to our democracy.

The problem is, however, that the right is using what mainly constitute bureaucratic snags and padded timesheets/registration targets to subsequently declare that all of those registrations are being turned into real votes, which makes no sense. The amount of coordination and deception to turn ten fake voter registrations into ten fake votes is so large and likely so inconsequential to the vote that anyone capable of doing it in a way that would alter a major election either A.) will and should win, because they’re the Illuminati or B.) will get easily discovered and put in jail, because it’s already hard enough to get real people with real names and addresses out to vote.

It’s the oddest obsession imaginable – even if you get Elmer Fudd’s registration through and they can show up and vote, the person who dumped Elmer Fudd’s name into the registration queue is now going to have to manufacture the vote. It’s really, really difficult, and you might as well just get a real voter to vote honestly.

All us wacky liberals are concerned with the machines and the workers and the tabulation because it’s far easier to alter votes after they exist than it is to manufacture voters who then manufacture votes. The only reason you’re concerned with registrations and not about tabulation is because you’re trying to reduce the pool of votes to fuck with in the first place.

Ah, well. I’m off to early vote now. Where’s my “Rick James Bitch, Jr.” ID?

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
By commenting, you agree to our terms of service
and to abide by our commenting policy.