Devastation Has Been Visited Upon Us

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In today’s Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Jack Kelly reveals the secret link between Bill Ayers and Barack Obama – their Fleisch-Kincaid reading levels:

Excerpts from “Fugitive Days” and from “Dreams From My Father” both scored 54 on reading ease and a 12th-grade reading level on the Flesch Reading Ease Score, Mr. Cashill found. Scores can range from 0 to 121. Excerpts from “Fugitive Days” averaged 23.13 words a sentence. “Dreams” averaged 23.36 words a sentence. Excerpts from Sen. Obama’s second book, “The Audacity of Hope,” average 29 words per sentence, and a ninth-grade reading level, Mr. Cashill said.

Look at the output generated by what I’m entirely confident was a comprehensive and furiously in-depth copy-and-paste session on the part of Mr. Cahill! Ayers and Obama end up on the same grade level, with almost the exact same number of words per sentence, a feat which I am indelibly sure cannot be gamed or contorted by any sort of purposeful selection of similarly long and/or wordy passages. Instead, assuming that the ability to determine a similar grade level and even sentence length proves an incontrovertible authorial link between any two sources, I Googled for things that had a twelfth-grade Fleisch score. Lo and behold, I found out that the Department of Defense does for 67% of its materials, which leads to the obvious and problematic question: why is Bill Ayers the secret head of the Department of Defense?

The MSM will never cover this important story, but we shall follow it tirelessly. Beware, forces of evil – our ability to run things through free wizards which mimic formulas used for rather narrow analytic purposes can change the world. For instance, if Sarah Palin were a Smurf, she’d be Vanity Smurf. Burn.