Vote Barack, Because Your Messiah Is Old And Busted

By Jesse Taylor
Saturday, October 25, 2008 7:06 EDT
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imageBelmont Club has determined that asking your grandparents to vote for Barack Obama is akin to Satan’s temptation of Christ.

We have forgotten much. The use of love to lead people to destruction was once a uniformly understood metaphor for ultimate evil in the Western canon. Still, though tradition has been forgotten there are still several well known examples in popular culture warning us against that sort of thing. The thriller writer John le Carre famously said that “love is whatever you can still betray.” In Richard Lester’s adaptation of the Four Musketeers, the evil Milady de Winter (played by Faye Dunaway) seduces her jailer’s son and beguiles him into assassinating her master. Love in the service of betrayal is still a popular theme in literature.

But no longer at the level of deep myth and taboo. Once upon a time most of us would have been familiar with these words. “Judas, dost thou betray the Son of man with a kiss?” Today Judas and Kiss are better known as names of rock bands than symbols of perfidy. Some bible-clinging children may still remember the story of a child who was being asked to use his father’s love for him, not for good, but for vanity of knowing he could manipulate love to get what he wanted. It eerily echoes the appeal by the ‘HQ blogger” to get The Precious (strange term that) to use love to manipulate Grandpa.

The devil led him to Jerusalem and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down from here. For it is written: “‘He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’” Jesus answered, “It says: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

But we have long forgotten the words, “get behind me, Satan.” Oh, I forgot. He doesn’t exist.

Of course, this would place voting for John McCain Sarah Palin in the same realm as opening up the Kingdom of God to all who believe in her and the sacrifice she and her followers have made. Will Kathleen Parker deny Palin three times before the dawn? Will the immense popularity of Judas Priest ever be supplanted by the forgotten Biblical character based on the English metal band? This, we do not know.

Let this thread function as an archive of sorts – what have been your favorite absurd conservative reactions to Barack Obama’s candidacy?

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
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