Pandas last stand

By Amanda Marcotte
Monday, January 12, 2009 1:13 EDT
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It’s true that pandas are lumbering fake bears that are going extinct because they suffer from sexual ignorance on the level that abstinence-only pushers could only dream of. But all this is more reason that pandas deserve your vote over religious figures and bitches. After all, when this is all said and done, bitches and religious figures will live on, assured that there is no danger of extinction for their people, but pandas will not have such comfort. So vote for pandas. Because you’re a liberal, and so you root for the downtrodden and the underdogs, and pandas are all that plus way cuter than most underdogs.

Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.
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