Unicorn Nuts…On Your Face

By Jesse Taylor
Tuesday, April 14, 2009 20:31 EDT
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imageIt strikes me that Michelle Malkin’s problem isn’t that DHS is accurately describing rightwing extremist tactics, but that she’s obviously worried that those things apply to her.

(Here’s the actual report.)

This gets to the basic issue with the whole Tea Party movement. It’s a group of fucknuts joining other groups of marginally related fucknuts to protest something or other, in a hugely fucknutty way. The point of the Tea Party movement, besides the largest thrusting of testicles to America’s collective face since the Soviets launched Sputnik, is to protest…well, basically the entire functioning of the government with no alternative plan or goal whatsoever. The stated purpose of the protests is “protest against out of control government spending”, which, while something, is also terribly and uselessly vague. It’s easy to lump in the gun nut survivalists and the Paulies and any number of other wackos because a mission to do stuff (and things!) tends to welcome in anyone who has similar feelings about the top-level definition of “stuff”. When you have a bunch of angry people welcoming a bunch of other angry people with no core principles or mission, it’s hard to get pissy when you all of a sudden find yourself standing beside Clem the White Supremacist Marksman with your “NO PORKULUS” sign.

Even teabagging advocates have no fucking idea what it is they’re endorsing, all they know is that Reagan fought against high taxes, and this feels like that, so it would be totally awesome if this created a similar result of massive deficit spending and a large tax hike that Reagan…

…Oh, fuck.

Tea Partiers are hoping that if they mimic the energy of anti-war protests and the savvy of Obama’s new media operation, that at some point an actual movement will spawn. Getting together a bunch of pissed off middle-aged white people with no clue about how the tax system works in public areas will generate a coherent agenda designed to combat the stimulus; if it gets enough media coverage, they will DOMINATE THE AGENDA.

It’s like taping a horn to a horse and waiting for it to alight on a magic cloud of stardust and pixies.

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
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