George Will, What The Fuck Are You Doing?

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George Will writes an entire column about how the monied should stop wearing jeans and instead start dressing like movie stars from fifty to sixty years ago.

This is because George Will has turned into that asshole uncle who constantly sneers at any television show produced after The Honeymooners went off the air, because it’s all derivative trash. On the flip side, that uncle also masturbates into tube socks and stuffs them under the couch cushions, and then wears his Nikes with no socks so that his feet always make that terrible squishing sound when he walks.

I love my fucking jeans.