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Macy’s To Pervert Meaning Of Thanksgiving With Giant Balloons

By Jesse Taylor
Tuesday, August 25, 2009 13:58 EDT
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imageI’ve stood by our radical black socialist magician President through thick and thin. I was with him when he threatened to kill Granny with bureaucracy, I was with him when the stimulus bill reserved $212 million to promote teenage pregnancy, I was even with him when he appointed Alger Hiss’ ghost to oversee Cash for Clunkers. And you know why I was with him? Everything he did was to advance the greater good.

However, when Barack Obama dares to tread upon the sacred American ground of September 11th by proposing a National Day of Service, that goes too fucking far. There is perhaps nothing more offensive than the idea of people gathering together in their communities in an organized fashion to help others – in fact, it may be precisely what the terrorists wanted, given bin Laden’s stated intention to plant trees and donate canned food in the wake of the 9/11 attacks.

Atlas Shrugs is worried that this will be the launch of Obama’s private civilian army, because it makes sense that the man in charge of the most advanced military force on the planet would build up a subsidiary army of college students and stay-at-home parents whose main training will be in phonebanking and pamphlet-stuffing.

Robert Stacy McCain pimps the 2,996 Project, because Americans are dumb and cannot both help people and remember why they’re helping them. Personally, I was helping an old lady across the street yesterday and halfway across left her there because I forgot I wasn’t supposed to get paid for it.

Michelle Malkin smartly points out that Obama believes that 9/11 happened because of “a fundamental absence of empathy” on the part of the attackers, which is a ridiculous statement, because I suppose they actually cared about the people they brutally murdered? Anyway, volunteering is for jobless libtards, so there.

This is my break with the statist authoritarian ideology of Barack Obama. By asking Americans to voluntarily pay tribute to the people whose lives were lost in the terrorist attacks of September 11th, 2001 through aiding their communities and making the country we all love a better place, he is effectively Joseph Stalin. Also, Cash for Clunkers is over, and Ghost Alger Hiss is currently haunting my refrigerator. Thanks, Barry.

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
 
 
 
 
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