Girls, Girls, Girls!

By Amanda Marcotte
Monday, February 22, 2010 15:19 EDT
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Attention young losers! Are you sick of hot women running away from you because they see that copy of Atlas Shrugged under your arm and that anti-choice sticker on your backpack? Have you decided all of femalekind is just too simple-minded to understand your incredible intellect, your John Galt-ish superiority? Do you blame your lack of a sex life on the feminists, who have poisoned women into thinking they can just date who they like, and that they deserve men who do emasculating things like listening and respecting their intelligence? Do you think that’s all just a racket, because no one could really think women are as smart as you? Are you beginning to bend into yourself with bitterness and rage at femalekind for not seeing things your way and going out with you already?

Then come to CPAC, where we round up all sorts of hot ladies pre-screened to make sure they share most of your views! They’re “traditional”. They have “values”. We all know what that means—they know who’s the man, amirite? Well, most of them, anyway. And they’re hot hot hot! Don’t believe me? Well, The Daily Caller made a video to prove it.

Hey, we don’t want to make any promises that you’ll finally meet that lady who really gets you at CPAC, of course. As you see, there’s one girl we talked to who seemed to think that she had better things to do than flirt with us. But that’s okay. We did our best to make fun of her for it, and now you know her face, so just move along, fellas. But as this video demonstrates, there are tons of college aged hotties who are willing to open their eyes up, smile, and look right into the camera while they talk. You know what that means! They’ll do the same for you, I’m sure. I’m sure the presence of the camera had nothing to do with it, and they’re just friendly like that. That’s what you get when you have acres of female flesh unspoiled by the evils of feminism: Women who’ll talk to you!

So what are you waiting for, dudes? Put down that video game controller (don’t worry—as we note in the video, you can get your fix here), put on your ill-fitting khaki pants, and get your ass to CPAC, which we’re thinking of renaming Girls Girls Girls PAC, since we’re so thick with hot ladies. And as a bonus, these girls don’t ruin the moment by saying disgusting, slutty things that indicate they know how to prevent pregnancy.

Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.
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