Announcing The New Tea Party Mascot: Slow Moe, The Tired Randian Squirrel

By Jesse Taylor
Monday, March 1, 2010 4:23 EDT
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imageThe New York Times did a profile of one of the Tea Party movement’s leaderless leaders, Keli Carender (warning: link to interminable blog).

As we all know, the Tea Party has no leaders, which means that everyone in the Tea Party is simultaneously totally fucking awesome and persona non grata. But when Ms. Carender, who is a leader but not a leader, is asked about Sarah Palin, she says the following:

Sarah Palin? She will have to campaign on Tea Party ideas if she wants Tea Party support, Ms. Carender said, adding, “And if she were elected, she’d have to govern on those principles or be fired.”

And what, pray tell, are “Tea Party ideas”?

Ms. Carender is less certain when it comes to explaining, for instance, how to cut the deficit without cutting Medicaid and Medicare.

“Well,” she said, thinking for a long time and then sighing. “Let’s see. Some days I’m very Randian. I feel like there shouldn’t be any of those programs, that it should all be charitable organizations. Sometimes I think, well, maybe it really should be just state, and there should be no federal part in it at all. I bounce around in my solutions to the problem.”

Got that, candidates? You want the Tea Party’s support, you take basic questions about how government should be run and you fucking sigh through that shit. Then you go all Randian, except that Ayn Rand didn’t like charities, but whatever, and then you push a massive entitlement program onto the states, or maybe not, but whatever, because you can bounce around.

All this thinking about what the hell your formless, aimless mass protests are about is really hard, you know?

Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor
Jesse Taylor is an attorney and blogger from the great state of Ohio. He founded Pandagon in July, 2002, and has also served on the campaign and in the administration of former Ohio Governor Ted Strickland. He focuses on politics, race, law and pop culture, as well as the odd personal digression when the mood strikes.
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