I have to share my WTF moment at the gym yesterday. My habit is to bring my iPhone in and watch Rachel Maddow while doing the cardio machines, but occasionally I glance at the gym’s TVs. And yesterday, they were showing one of those “Real Housewives” shows, this one I think in New York. The women in these scenes were startling, because from their hair and make-up to their countenance to above all their epic amount of plastic surgery, they created an excellent image of animatronic sex dolls. As if Disney World added Pornland as its newest expansion. Two of the housewives were eating “lunch”, though food was not discernibly consumed. The topic of conversation? Jesus. Specifically, the woman with the larger breast implants, greater amounts of plastic surgery, and more revealing clothes was talking about how she and her husband were really into Christianity.
Readers, I laughed. It was embarrassing to laugh in front of the other hamsters on treadmills, but the whole thing was so grotesque. Americans really have found a way to take the two competing extremes of patriarchy and blend them into one. Sure, this is hardly a new thing. We’ve had half-naked beauty queens talking about their virginity forever. But lately, it’s been taking a turn for the super weird. Take for instance the spectacle of a beauty queen who parades around in a bikini for prizes—someone Old Testament patriarchs would have immediately taken for prostitution—talking about how Leviticus demands that gays be stoned to death. I suppose what we’re seeing is patriarchy in the age of capitalism, many men saying, “Hey, I’ve got the money. I want my women to be both modest and chaste and porn stars. This is America, make it happen!”
Anyway, I thought I’d dedicate this original Genius song, which is by Mike Berry & The Outlaws—a British band trying to sound like Buddy Holly & The Crickets, with production help from Joe Meek, to this weird phenomenon. Leave your Genius or random lists in comments.
Original song: “My Baby Doll” by Mike Berry & The Outlaws
1) “Perfect Day”—Lou Reed
2) “Don’t Forget About Me”—Dusty Springfield
3) “Street Fighting Man”—The Rolling Stones
4) “The Guns of Brixton”—The Clash
5) “I’m Sticking With You”—The Velvet Underground
6) “She’s Not There”—The Zombies
7) “Another Girl, Another Planet”—The Only Ones
8) “Tell Him”—The Exciters
9) “Town Without Pity”—Gene Pitney
10) “Jenny Take A Ride”—Mitch Ryder & The Detroit Wheels
Videos below the fold.
What is awesome about this video is they’re singing to a bear.