Oddly enough, the often-whimsical Dana Milbank didn’t author this bizarre Washington Post article.
Philip Rucker writes, “It’s no secret that members of Congress broker deals on the treadmill or in the weight room of the House and Senate gyms. But former congressman Eric Massa’s accusation that White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel once berated him in the gym’s shower over his vote against President Obama’s budget left Washington watchers wondering how much business politicians conduct while naked.”
Important stuff, indeed, and Rucker does his best to find out what other DC folks like to talk business while displaying the full monty.
“This morning I talked with Lamar Alexander about a hold” on a nomination during his daily workout, Sen. Jon Tester (D-Mont.) said. But Tester said, “I don’t go in the shower. I don’t accost people.”
Asked whether he has had shower encounters like the one Massa alleged, Sen. John Thune (R-S.D.) was interrupted by an aide — “Senator, we definitely have a speaking engagement” — and whisked away before he could respond.
Rucker couldn’t visit the women’s locker room, so he did the next best thing.
Sen. Claire McCaskill (D-Mo.) said she works out in the Senate gym, sometimes talking shop on the elliptical, “but obviously not as often as I should.” But McCaskill wouldn’t offer details about what happens inside the women’s locker room.
“This is wayyyy TMI,” she said, laughing. “I’m not going to discuss my showering habits. I’ll leave that to Rahm Emanuel and Eric Massa.”
Gossip website Gawker conducted its own investigation into naked Washington, quoting Massa’s destined-to-be-immortal line: “Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?”
True that. We have independently confirmed that Congress’s male locker room lacks shower curtains, rendering the leaders of the free world “naked as a jaybird” for all to see and poke with their fingers. (No word, yet, about the female locker room. Anyone know?) Which is why we are now volunteering to redecorate it. How will they ever reconcile health care if they’re busy having gay bacchanalias? (bacchanaliae?) A modest proposal for promoting modesty in elected officials.