Your Summary Of The Eric Massa Interview On The Glenn Beck Variety Hour

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5:00 – 5:05: Beck introduces the show and makes it clear that this is probably going to go terribly. You are allowed to watch something else, anything else, if this goes poorly. This is not a good sign.

5:05 – 5:25: Massa retracts virtually everything he said before about this entire debacle, mentions tickle fights a lot and shows pictures of a Naval induction ceremony from 1983 and says it looks like an orgy.

5:25 – 5:30: Beck tries to get Massa to prepare for the last half of the show, where Massa’s supposed to give examples of corruption.

5:30 – 5:40: Massa reads a letter from someone who says they won’t donate because they didn’t like a vote of his, and then says that arm twisting goes on all the time because people try to persuade you to vote a certain way. Beck gets visibly pissier as time goes on.

5:40 – 5:55: Beck just gives up and goes to commercial break every three minutes.

5:55 – 6:00: Beck apologizes for wasting everyone’s time and goes off to fire whoever booked this terrible, terrible mess of a guest.