Breitbart forces superman Kevin Pezzi to go Galt

By Amanda Marcotte
Friday, August 6, 2010 20:47 EDT
google plus icon
  • Print Friendly and PDF
  • Email this page

Kevin Pezzi always make sure that none of the fake women shilling his products sport anything as unseemly as brown eyes.

In the past day, what was a pretty good week was topped off with an awesome incident where Media Matters exposed Andrew Breitbart’s newest writer (brought on the call Shirley Sherrod a racist), a great deal of laughing commenced, and Breitbart fired Pezzi and pulled down the posts he wrote. Even though Pezzi was exposed as someone who generally doesn’t try to establish plausible deniability before shooting off racist crap—and since playing the “who me?” game while promoting racist stereotypes is a critical part of the Big Government brand—Breitbart issued a press release denouncing Pezzi’s attitudes but embracing his “research”. Because we should all trust the guy who claims to have figured out the cure for cancer, to have invented a robotic chef, and who peddles penis enlargement nonsense.

Honestly, no wonder Pezzi was drawn to wingnut audiences. He likes them gullible and full of sexual anxieties, and where better to find those folks?

But for my money, the funniest part of this was how Pezzi was just as unvarnished in his misogynist, sexually anxious, just plain weird sexual inventions and ebooks. Unsurprisingly, he’s a big fan of the “women are all slaves to oxytocin!” theories. Some folks promote this on the woman-centered misogynist side to shame sluts, but of course, he’s all about hinting that men can use this to circumvent nasty little problems like women who say no.

In women, alcohol temporarily increases testosterone and, hence, libido. However, since alcohol also suppresses oxytocin, women who consume it are more likely to engage in sex, but less likely to feel good about it afterwards. They’re also less apt to feel attached to the man, and less likely to feel as if they’re falling in love. Physiologically-hip, conniving men can to some degree circumvent this stumbling block by remembering the effect of heat. Lounging in a hot tub, and then cuddling in a warm bed—or, better yet, vacationing on a warm, exotic island . . .

I’m beginning to think this cherry-picked obsession with pseudo-scientific theories about hormones is a way of conservatives saying that women simply don’t have minds, but instead are just biological machines whose responses can be induced by managing hormone levels, much in the same way you can tell your car how fast to go by managing the amount of gas you feed the engine.

This particular question from the shilling for his book cracked me up:

Why are some vaginas better than others? Tightness is just one of the many factors. Learn how to make your vagina more gratifying.

Presumably, you’re just going to have to take his word for this, since you, the female reader, can’t really say that you have direct experience with one vagina being “better” than another.

Media Matters discovered that Pezzi had gone so far as to create most likely fake MySpace profiles of women claiming they love his book, and since they have giant boobs, their testimony means quite a bit in this department. Except, it turns out, that these non-existent women are perhaps not so well-endowed in the chest region in real life, though thankfully their real life faces are much better than the photoshopped ones Pezzi provided for them. Here’s an example of one of Pezzi’s photoshop jobs and the real picture he used:

Naturally, these fake women loved his writings! Since we know that Pezzi has no problem creating sock puppets, then I have to look at the endorsements on his website in a new, skeptical light:

Anyway, you can go to any bookstore, and replace the entire sex section with this book. Any sane publisher should jump on it, you can split the book into ongoing volumes…..

I assume from the size of the manuscript and the impeccable layout that you intend to have it commercially bound and published at some point. I hope so, because it is vastly superior to anything I have seen on the topic from a medical view.

And my favorite:

I guess you’re now close to age 48, yet your physical appearance looks to me (from the 2002 pics I saw from your webpage) like you’re in tiptop shape; your BMI, skin, your mind, etc. My girlfriend had a look at the 2002 pic where it says you were 44½, and she too admitted you have good-looking skin and looked young. I see people in their early 30s who look like they’re in their late 40s, so calendar age is definitely not the same as biological age. I may sound like I am layering it on thick, but I’m simply granting you what’s rightfully yours.

I’m sure his harem of photoshopped stock photos with agree with this surely-a-real-reader’s assessment that Pezzi is a sexy stud machine. I’m just surprised he didn’t reply to this totally real reader with an answer about how he has his Aryan genes to thank for his magnificent, manly appearance.

Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.
By commenting, you agree to our terms of service
and to abide by our commenting policy.