For many Iraq veterans, ‘invisible wounds’ of war will never heal

By Agence France-Presse
Sunday, August 29, 2010 21:01 EST
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Knocked unconscious when a roadside bomb sent his armored vehicle flying in Iraq, US Army Lieutenant Mike McMichael’s life has been haunted ever since by invisible wounds that never seem to heal.

With an impaired memory and intense anxiety, McMichael suffers from what top generals call the signature wounds of the Iraq war, traumatic brain injury (TBI) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Even as President Barack Obama prepares to declare an end to the combat mission in Iraq, veterans like McMichael are waging another war at home against the debilitating effects of concussions and combat stress.

The wounds plague hundreds of thousands of soldiers and veterans, exacting an emotional cost on families and a growing financial burden for the US government and society.

The military and veterans’ agencies have struggled to cope with the condition that often leaves soldiers a shadow of their former selves, unable to keep a job or perform basic tasks.

McMichael looked healthy when he arrived back in Raleigh, North Carolina in January 2005, only about two weeks after the explosion that knocked him out for several minutes. But his wife soon realized her husband had changed dramatically.

“Before Iraq, he was the life of the party, he would have no problems talking to anybody. He thrived on life’s stresses,” his wife Jackie told AFP.

“He came back and I don’t know how to describe it, he was a little different.”

He was detached from his children, given to angry outbursts and tormented by hallucinations. There were symptoms too of something beyond the purely psychological.

The former National Guard soldier got lost on familiar roads, had frequent migraines and had trouble reading or figuring out when to brake for a stop sign.

“It’s very bewildering,” he said. “A lot of times I won’t remember exactly where I am.”

Retired from the National Guard, McMichael, 36, sought help from civilian psychiatrists, who were unfamiliar with the stresses faced by combat veterans and prescribed an array of drugs that left him groggy and withdrawn.

McMichael’s life began to unravel. He trashed his house in a violent outburst, and had to be placed in a mental hospital. He was fired from his job at a company where he had once excelled and briefly left his wife.

“We miss the old Mike,” his colleagues told him.

“That was so disheartening,” McMichael said. “I couldn’t find him. The old Mike wasn’t there.”

Going out to a restaurant filled him with dread, and for a long time he refused. “The noise, the movement. You’re always looking for the bad guy in the crowd. You couldn’t shut off your combat mode,” McMichael added.

He applied for disability benefits, but encountered a baffling labyrinth of government bureaucracy. All the while, his brain injury went undiagnosed.

It was not until his wife testified before a Senate committee in March 2008, that his paperwork was finally approved and the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) formally recognized his TBI.

The Pentagon has scrambled to address the problem, hiring hundreds of mental health professionals, sending counselors out to warzones and trying to learn from emerging science on brain injuries.

Top brass have also spoken out in a drive to change attitudes in the military about mental health, telling troops that seeking counseling will not damage their careers and urging commanders to help troubled soldiers.

McMichael’s care improved in the last two years, and he said the VA has learned how to better treat traumatic brain injuries. The military has introduced rules that require soldiers to be taken off duty and examined if they suffer concussions near blasts.

McMichael, who has no regrets about his military service or the US invasion of Iraq, has shown signs of progress. He said he’s now engaged with his three children, his tremors have receded and he ventures out of the house more often.

He volunteers at his kids’ school and with veterans’ groups, but he is still unable to handle the stresses or the skills required for a full-time job. He said he feels guilty about receiving disability pay.

In case he forgets the way home from errands or how to get to his mother’s house, McMichael has a GPS in his car, and his household chores are punched into his phone as a reminder.

He identifies with other veterans whose wounds are not visible, and who sometimes feel misunderstood and cut off from the rest of a society that has been virtually untouched by the war.

“What you’ll hear a lot of them say is, ‘I almost wish I had a more severe injury that’s more visible, like I was missing an arm or leg,’ because people will see right away that you went through something horrible.”

Agence France-Presse
Agence France-Presse
AFP journalists cover wars, conflicts, politics, science, health, the environment, technology, fashion, entertainment, the offbeat, sports and a whole lot more in text, photographs, video, graphics and online.
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  • Anonymous

    PLEASE NOTE: There are any number of trained practitioners just waiting to offer their services to these wounded vets. That is, free of charge. As I write, a national research project is being conducted to establish clinical proof that the vets can be and are being helped with a state-of-the-art protocol called Emotional Freedom Techniques (www.eftuniverse.com). Most often, EFT works to heal the ‘hidden wounds’ of war when nothing else will.

    The project is called Iraq Vets Stress Project. SEE: http://www.stressproject.org/index.html.

    Any vet needing help can contact this Project or any practitioner of EFT. He or she will be given immediate treatment free of charge. Our wounded vets and their family members deserve the very best care available.

    While most VAs do not provide EFT treatment as yet, some do. These can be found at (http://www.stressproject.org/index.html) And, local Practitioners of EFT are available and willing to provide it.

    Our returning vets feel misunderstood and cut off from the rest of a society because their war wounds are not visible. Now they can get the attention they deserve. By contacting the Iraq Vets Stress Project (http://www.stressproject.org/index.html) they will be given the acceptance and clinical care they so desperately need.

  • Anonymous

    You should mention in your posts that you are promoting Deepak Chopra, Michael Jackson’s old buddy.

  • Anonymous

    As a Gulf War Vet, i still wake up a few times a night.. almost every night. The blood may wash off the clothes and skin, but it will never wash off our memories. What people always forget is that millions (yes millions) of innocent people have been killed over there. The ones we are fighting are a very small part of a group of people that just want to survive.. to love and raise kids. See if you can sleep when you see innocent children killed, or blown apart from IED’s. The memories of the innocents will haunt you forever.

    Please support our troops… both past and present.

  • Kayttt2000

    As a Rothschild/CIA Victim now Under Protective Custody,,I had thousands of scars/trauma’s to my memory with words,,
    My Protective Custody helped me transfer all data to the law,,
    The words with the trauma were surfaced,,then the trauma was removed and the words put back in my memory,,
    I now remember everything but without the trauma..

    I don’t remember her full name,,but a Elizabeth at some University was working on this awhile back,,,

    I read what this man has went threw,,I can relate and say my condition was magnified many times more,,If this method described above helped me,,it can help everybody..
    I would have been angry if my memory would have been deleted,,or blocked with therapy or medicine..

    It was thousands of scars,,,and the CIA opened all these closets of scars at once in April 2001.
    I was lucky to form a sentence with 2 words and I had to eat with my fingers,,the fork just didn’t reach the mouth..
    The whole program was to install a constant feeling of rape trauma,,
    I wore sunglasses 24/7,,all waking hours for 6 months,,
    Most nights I was lucky to sleep a 2 hour span,,many days in this 6 month period I lived on 2 hours sleep,,
    I had physical pain,,but it was the mental pain that was a 1000 times worse,,
    I took 3 baths everyday,,2 hours long,,to help the mental pain..
    Every 2-5 minutes during this 6 months I would cringe from shame,,my stomach took the physical cringe,,
    I didn’t know my phone number,,I remember a feel of always being lost,,(Not knowing where I was)…
    1 hour seemed to be one day,,or 1 day seemed to be 1 week…
    They had my physical body burning and hurting,,the only touch that didn’t seem to hurt was dabbing soap bubbles on my arms and legs…
    In a normal life to age 45 we all have many sadnesses,sufferings,trauma’s,,etc,,
    My 45 years of life I had the CIA working daily to create scars to my memory for MK Ultra Storage..
    So when they opened all the scars,,it was painful..I was in a state of Shock
    Then in June of 2001 they steered me to the Media,,they had my entire daily life spewed in the media including my last name,,this took me to a state of what I call a “Walking Coma”..

    My point to the above,,
    I feel at peace now and I don’t have the trauma’s,,just occasional sadness,,But nothing severe..
    So if this method worked for me,,it surely can help others..
    I have to thank our helpers on high for coming to me rescue :)

    I did try and go on medicine,,but the CIA wouldn’t let me,,medicine would have enhampered Mk Ultra,,I remember the chart in the doctors office for pain,,Little faces to show what pain level you are at,,
    There’s probably 10 faces,,I was able to point to a number for the physical pain,,but the chart was to small for the mental pain,,I remember thinking it needed 100 more faces…
    I did ask the CIA to take everything I own and cut off all my limbs,,but please stop the mental pain…
    What they did, was continue,,at some point I did start getting stronger (I could speak 4 word sentences),,then they took additional steps to keep me down and in a state of trauma…

  • Anonymous

    The CIA put little tape recorders in my teeth during dental work in the ’70′s.

    It’s OK, one of them plays “Stairway to Heaven” anytime I want.

  • http://topsy.com/www.rawstory.com/rs/2010/0829/iraq-veterans-invisible-wounds-ptsd-heal/?utm_source=pingback&utm_campaign=L2 Tweets that mention For many Iraq veterans, ‘invisible wounds’ of PTSD will never heal | Raw Story — Topsy.com

    [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Rob, RawStory, Tom, lynx55, Reeni Tvinnereim and others. Reeni Tvinnereim said: 4 many Iraq veterans, ‘invisible wounds’ of PTSD will never heal: Knocked unconscious http://bit.ly/983sql *V @USagenda < #MilitaryMon #SOT [...]

  • Anonymous

    Unfortunately we will have a generation of these poor soldiers thanks to GWB and his phony wars.
    Even if they didn’t get hurt the kids that spent two and three tours will be forever changed.

  • http://www.facebook.com/cureadvocate Steven Edwards

    Show America that not only do you support your troops, you support CURING them of PTSD, TBI, SCI, and more:

    http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=151585388194145&ref=ts

  • Anonymous

    Not to sound too cold here, but at least the U$ soldiers are all volunteers who should have understood the risks associated with their choices. And they were the perps of all the war crimes, never mind the tired old “only following orders” bit.Not so for the million or so innocent Iraqis we have killed, or the millions more displaced, cut off from their lives. Yes, of course let’s do everything we can to help the injured soldiers, but let us not forget our debt to the innocents of that distant region. In fact, let’s really support our troops and their victims: bring the boys and girls home, start a massive program to rebuild and decontaminate Iraq amd Afghanistan, and disband our standing peace-time army once and for al. Now we’re talking!l

  • PrissyPatriot

    Well Bob, sitting from your perch you sure do sound cold and condescending. As the military family of an injured soldier of a Guard reservist who signed on to pull old ladies out of flood waters in his home state and who did NOT sign to treated like pawns on a chess board by warmongering republicans and their enabling democrats- you show a lack of knowledge that enlisted do not get to decide to refuse an illegal order. By the way, ‘volunteered’ is a poor term-volunteers are not paid. These young people signed on to protect their country, not get used up to defend capitalism. The planners of this war are the ones guilty of treason here and the true war criminals- not our soldiers. Blame them, not the young ones ordered to their untimely deaths. Yes, I agree Iraq/Afghanistan should be left-with a large check in their hand. But don’t just complain or write letters, put on your suit, act professional and go into your reps office, tell them in person you are sick of your tax dollars supporting this illegal war.
    As a military family, I don’t have a chain of command so I can speak freely-but try being a young soldier coming up against that. The military will make your life hell. It’s jail-time and dishonorable discharge, ruining the rest of a young person life-one way or another they get the shaft. After the regions of this world who have suffered due to the orders of cowardly politicians, its only a matter of time until it comes home to roost-so disbanding the military on the homeland is probably the worst idea ever, at this time. Unless you are ready and willing to defend it.

  • EndTheNWO

    Cry me a river Amerika…

    How about the hundreds of thousands of Iraqis with “wounds that never heal”? Traumatized, maimed by high explosives, occupied and subjugated, imprisoned, tortured and poisoned by DU and other toxic substances. All of it “justified” by outright lies and media propaganda.

    These US military “heroes” where voluntarily involved in a massive war crime. How much sympathy can one have for those who committed acts as brutal and insane as the Wehrmacht in Poland and Ukraine?

  • Anonymous

    Well, Prissy Patriot, I can certainly understand your feelings on this matter. It is true that the so-called leaders who plotted this catastrophe deserve the lion’s share of the blame, and I know from my own personal experience how difficult it is to object on conscientious grounds to carrying out illegal orders, for I served from 1965 to 1969 (I enlisted the day they qwere due to draft me, in order to secure a specialty – linguist – that suited me), back when there was a draft in full effect. And I understand that, given the terrible economy many young men and women have enlisted in order to try to secure some sort of future for themselves and their loved ones. Still and all, what if they had a war and no one showed up to fight? America needs to tend its own garden, and quit trying to police/plunder the rest of the world. I’m a little old to do battle physically, but you can bet I’d return to the States in a heartbeat if the U$ were attacked by another country, and I’d contribute to the war effort in any way I could, and very few countries would be foolish enough to mess with America even if it had disbanded its peacetime military. But I would not take another person’s life nor put my own in jeopardy to defend what has become, in every respect, the Evil Empire, and, I’m sorry, but there are people who refuse to deploy, etc., on the grounds that it is their duty to refuse to carry out unlawful orders. We need to return to an age of reason, as explained so eloquently by Ike (well, actually his brilliant Milton, who wrote the important speeches for him), where the wealthy pay what they should for living in a land that made them rich, where public works projects receive some of the fruits of our great wealth, adn where we live in peace with our neighbors. he good old days may not have been perfect, but I’d take them any time over what we have now!

  • PrissyPatriot

    Thank you. I appreciate your comments. Yes, I agree with you regarding the wealthy in this country. Our military is a socialist institute which protects the wealth of capitalism…what irony.

  • Anonymous

    While people are commenting about who is to blame for the illegal invasion of Iraq, our returning troops are in desperate need of help. So, I repeat my original post:

    PLEASE NOTE: There are any number of trained practitioners just waiting to offer their services to these wounded vets. That is, free of charge. As I write, a national research project is being conducted to establish clinical proof that the vets can be and are being helped with a state-of-the-art protocol called Emotional Freedom Techniques (http://www.eftunivers.com ) Most often, EFT works to heal the ‘hidden wounds’ of war when nothing else will.

    The project is called Iraq Vets Stress Project. SEE: http://www.stressproject.org/index.html

    Any vet needing help can contact this Project or any practitioner of EFT. He or she will be given immediate treatment free of charge. Our wounded vets and their family members deserve the very best care available.

    While most VAs do not provide EFT treatment as yet, some do. These can be found at http://www.stressproject.org/index.html And, local Practitioners of EFT are available and willing to provide it.

    Our returning vets feel misunderstood and cut off from the rest of a society because their war wounds are not visible. Now they can get the attention they deserve. By contacting the Iraq Vets Stress Project ( http://www.stressproject.org/index.html ) they will be given the acceptance and clinical care they so desperately need.

    As for cessnadriver’s comment: “You should mention in your posts that you are promoting Deepak Chopra, Michael Jackson’s old buddy. “… No, neither the URL for Emotional Freedom Techniques (www.eftuniverse.com ) nor the URL for the Iraq Vets Stress Project ( http://www.stressproject.org/index.html ) is a promotion for Deepak Chopra. Both are sites where there is immmediate help available for our war wounded Iraq and Afghanistan vets.

    Whether Deepak Chopra was a friend of Michael Jackson’s isn’t really relevant. What is relevant is that Mr. Chopra, a famous author and well known authority on alternate forms of healing, promotes EFT, too. He says: “EFT offers great healing benefits.” But, thank you for your comment cessnadriver. It prompted me to include Deepak Chopra’s recommendation of EFT.

    Dr. Steve
    Tucson, AZ

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