Stewart on GOP pledge: ‘Same sh*t we’ve heard before’

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Friday, September 24, 2010 11:00 EDT
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Jon Stewart mocked the new Republican “Pledge to America” Thursday, saying it sounds exactly like their old ideas.

Republican lawmakers unveiled their new 21-page plan on Thursday.

The Pledge is “filled with familiar proposals to slash taxes and spending and cut down on government regulation, as well as repeal President Barack Obama’s health care law and end his stimulus program,” reports the Associated Press.

With polls showing voters disenchanted with Obama, worried about the economy and mad at elected officials, the agenda also vows to change the way Congress works — requiring every bill to cite its constitutional authority, for example, and to be made public for three days before a vote.

“Putting spending, putting the policy of economic growth in place and cleaning up the way Congress works is not only a stark contrast to this president and this Congress,” said Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis. “It’s a contrast to the way we conducted ourselves a decade ago. We spent to much money. We lost our way.”

On the Daily Show, Stewart began by showing clips of Republican lawmakers claiming that the Republican Party was going to reinvent itself as a “party of new ideas.”

Two years later, with mid-term elections around the corner and “House Republicans poised with a real chance to win huge,” Stewart displayed the “fruits of their labor” in a series of clips showing Republicans explaining their new “Pledge.”

“Who are these fresh faced young guns and their bold new ideas – wait a minute – wait a minute, that’s the same (bleep) as before,” exclaimed Stewart. “I think your fresh new ideas sound slightly like – sorry did I say ‘slightly like’ – exactly like your old ideas.”

“I don’t even know what to say,” Stewart said after running clips from the 1990′s and 2000′s of Republicans saying exactly what the new pledge said. “Not even a sequel, it’s like a shot by shot remake. I thought the pledge was you were humbled and going to come back with fresh new ideas.”

“Two years ago – just to get this straight – two years ago America broke up with you because you badly mistreated her and so you disappear, do some soul searching, get your head together and you come back rapping on our door and you say, ‘Baby, I know you left me but if we get back together, I pledge to you, I promise you, I will still try to (bleep) your sister every chance I get. It’s who I am, baby. It’s who I am. Now make up your mind, because I’m not going to ask you twice.”

This video is from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show, broadcast Sept. 22, 2010.

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  • Dem. Socialism iza GOOD Thing!

    GOOD CATCH ON BOHNER!!!

    I wonder if the corporate media will catch that?
    HA! HA! HA! HA! Damn I’m funny this morning!

  • Anonymous

    The nation is f@#ked. People are dense enough to vote these pukes back into a majority. Too bad the dems are afraid of their own shadows. I almost admire the rethugs for not caring about anything other than the corporate c@#ks in their mouths. Lying and deceit work for them and Ameritards are not bright enough to catch on.

  • Anonymous

    I know sites make money off advertising, but PAT TOOMEY is exactly part of this party of GOP assholes…Im tired of see’n his ugly Bigoted,hateful,homophobic mug……Vote Joe Sestak!

  • Anonymous

    The 48 page pledge includes

    15 pages of full color pictures
    10 pages gripe about the current administration
    7 completely blank pages
    6 pages with table of contents, titles or introductions
    3 pages give an overview of the concepts

    6 pages titled “plan”

    So, if you were thinking it was too long a document for you to read, don’t worry. It takes about 5-10 minutes to see what they are saying. There is nothing new in the plan.

  • Anonymous

    The above video is a commercial for Republican pull a string dolls. I was waiting for Billy Mays to come out and pitch these dolls. Pull the string and you get the same tired song and dance over and over again.

    The nation is under attack the plan, tax cuts for the rich.

    The nation’s economy is crashing the plan. Tax cuts for the rich.

    The nation is losing jobs the plan. Tax cuts for the rich.

    The nation’s water is turning black from oil spills the plan. Tax cut for the rich.

    The nation is dying like flies from lack of health care the plan. Tax cut for the rich.

    Guess what the plan will be. Guess I dare you. Just try and guess what the party of no idea will come up with. No matter what happens what will that solution be, just guess after you guessed then pull the string on the Republican doll and see if you guessed right.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_CY7B3QL6YHC3KELXAOXNJT6IMM Eric S

    That’s great… it only comes out to 47 pages, but I like where your heart is at.

  • Anonymous

    It looks to me that the clip was from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and not from Comedy Central’s The Colbert Report, broadcast Sept. 22, 2010. like it says above the video.

  • Anonymous

    One page defied categorization.

  • Anonymous

    The Congressional Dems are wimps. The Rushthuglicans are evil. It’s really that simple.

  • Kill Bill

    The corporate leg humperers and the corporate goober smoochers.
    Guess which party is which.
    There is no wrong answer.

    Demo [demos=people] cracy [krateos=power] at its finest.

  • Anonymous

    Here is a sampling of your “tax cuts for the rich” if Obama gets his way and lets the Bush tax cuts end.
    The central provisions of these landmark tax bills are scheduled to expire over the next five years, which means that taxes will rise dramatically for most taxpayers. Between now and January 1, 2011 (five short years away),

    Tax rates will rise substantially in each tax bracket, some by 450 basis points;
    Low-income taxpayers will see the 10-percent tax bracket disappear, and they will have to pay taxes at the 15-percent rate;
    Married taxpayers will see the marriage penalty return;
    Taxpayers with children will lose 50 percent of their child tax credits;
    taxes on dividends will increase beginning on January 1, 2009;
    taxes on capital gains will increase, also beginning on January 1, 2009; and
    Federal death taxes will come back to life in 2011, after fading down to nothing in 2010.

    So go ahead and continue to praise thie fool. He will tax you to death and finish killing the economy. He is marching us towards socialism and you ballywhos’ are goose steppin righ behind him.

  • Anonymous

    Here is a sampling of your “tax cuts for the rich” if Obama gets his way and lets the Bush tax cuts end.
    The central provisions of these landmark tax bills are scheduled to expire over the next five years, which means that taxes will rise dramatically for most taxpayers. Between now and January 1, 2011 (five short years away),

    Tax rates will rise substantially in each tax bracket, some by 450 basis points;
    Low-income taxpayers will see the 10-percent tax bracket disappear, and they will have to pay taxes at the 15-percent rate;
    Married taxpayers will see the marriage penalty return;
    Taxpayers with children will lose 50 percent of their child tax credits;
    taxes on dividends will increase beginning on January 1, 2009;
    taxes on capital gains will increase, also beginning on January 1, 2009; and
    Federal death taxes will come back to life in 2011, after fading down to nothing in 2010.

    So go ahead and continue to praise thie fool. He will tax you to death and finish killing the economy. He is marching us towards socialism and you ballywhos’ are goose steppin righ behind him.

  • Anonymous

    Here is a sampling of your “tax cuts for the rich” if Obama gets his way and lets the Bush tax cuts end.
    The central provisions of these landmark tax bills are scheduled to expire over the next five years, which means that taxes will rise dramatically for most taxpayers. Between now and January 1, 2011 (five short years away),

    Tax rates will rise substantially in each tax bracket, some by 450 basis points;
    Low-income taxpayers will see the 10-percent tax bracket disappear, and they will have to pay taxes at the 15-percent rate;
    Married taxpayers will see the marriage penalty return;
    Taxpayers with children will lose 50 percent of their child tax credits;
    taxes on dividends will increase beginning on January 1, 2009;
    taxes on capital gains will increase, also beginning on January 1, 2009; and
    Federal death taxes will come back to life in 2011, after fading down to nothing in 2010.

    So go ahead and continue to praise thie fool. He will tax you to death and finish killing the economy. He is marching us towards socialism and you ballywhos’ are goose steppin righ behind him.

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  • Anonymous

    So your saying that returning to the Clinton era tax rates will surely end this country and economy as we know it?!?
    I mean, seriously, you do know that these tax rates are what they were before all of the Bush tax cuts were pushed through by reconcilliation, right?
    Go blow your doom-horn somewhere else!

  • Anonymous

    I love how irate Republicans get over The Daily Show.
    However I hate the fact that a comedy show does a better job of highlighting the outright lies of the right better than the MSM does.

  • Shivabeach

    The pledge doesnt have any specifics in it, they are jsut hoping that this will get them back into power. They wont do a thing once in office except drive us backwards

  • Anonymous

    If the majority of the american people vote these clowns in, then this country deserves what it gets.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_XDN6ALBUR3ICCKTPBR6IMBGI2Q somewhere_near_omaha

    A new ‘Contract on America’? The last one under Gingrich & Bo**ner worked out so well. Their little 21-page pile of steaming sh** was written by lobbyists. No surprise there. The Rethugs drove the country into a ditch, now they want the keys back. It amazes me how many jelly-brains in this country will believe this and vote GOP.

  • Pennsylvanianne

    Stewart and The Daily Show staff are brilliant as always, much more intelligent and better critical thinkers than the MSM. Why, one wonders, does America even bother with the kabuki theater that is the MSM, which is useless because it pretends these Congresspeople have something worthwhile to say. Just tune into TDS for the truth!

  • Anonymous

    ROFL

    I do wish Stewart was half as good at highlighting the violence, hypocrisy and idiocy of his pet demagogues as he was with these assclowns, but still, great piece.

  • Anonymous

    You would think that the MSM would take a few cues from Jon, but alas their corporate overlords would quash any attempts to practice real journalism.

    For example, why doesn’t the lame stream media ask every GOP leader to take a stand on the Birther issue? Or ask every GOP leader EXACTLY how a 3% tax increase on income kill jobs when the cost of the job is STILL deductible?

    Oh that would require the reporters to have a brain and their producers to have a set! Silly me!

  • Anonymous

    With electronic voting machines how will we know if they REALLY got the votes?

  • Anonymous

    I’ve long thought he could do an hour show which would allow him to focus a brighter light on the hypocrisy of the Repugnants & NEOCON’s. I think he should get moved up to 10:00 and let Colbert have a half hour @ 11.

  • Anonymous

    As far as I’m concerned he’s still in the dark – highlighting only half the problem *is* the problem. “These guys are a bunch of assholes. Let’s trot right back over to these guys here.” The back-and-forth swing between duopoly powers by independents really demonstrates how intellectually enslaved people are to the fascist mindset. Guys like Stewart could have a huge impact in *really* waking people up if they’d escape the ridiculous false-dichotomy and point out all the scum for what they are. Take some notes from George Carlin and Bill Hicks, for instance. Stewart is squandering his talent.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Eric-Van-Bezooijen/1237106 Eric Van Bezooijen

    I may not be Sherlock Holmes, but does the fact that Jan 1, 2011 is “5 short years away” and the fact that you site “beginning on” a date in the past mean that you cut+paste this bit of illuminating information?

  • Anonymous

    I may be a tinfoil hatter.

    But at least I’m not a Godder.

  • Anonymous

    The American People have an IQ of 72.

    Can’t even find their fucking polling places most of ‘em.

  • Anonymous

    “Marching us toward socialism” is a statement fit for goldfish. You have access to a fairly reliable account of human history going back for centuries. U.S. has been a socialist nation since the turn of the last century. Obama isn’t marching you anywhere, he’s leading you around in circles just like his predecessors. If you knew what socialism *was* you’d understand this; it’s not a catchphrase or a political slogan. It’s the placement of group identity, group “rights”, and group “welfare” above that of the individual. Socialism says that the preservation of “society” – whether in the form of a collective, community, or government – is more important than the several well-being of its constituent members. Every president from Woodrow Wilson straight through Obama has been a self-avowed socialist, though they didn’t all describe themselves using that particular word, especially after Germany and Italy discredited the movement. Every politician who has supported welfare, social security, public health care, public education, border control, protectionist tariffs, affirmative action, business licensing, subsidies, product regulation, drug prohibition, minimum wage, targeted tax breaks, standing military, aggressive wars, modern police, central economic planning, censorship and other media regulations, clandestine law enforcement, anti-trust laws, gun control, mandatory military service, child protection services, imminent domain, environmental protection, the protection of polluters *against* liability for pollution, or any other policy that benefits one group at the expense of another or otherwise infringes on individual rights has been a socialist. If you know what socialism is, and you have sound reasons for opposing it, and you understand the principles that make liberty ethical, practical, and applicable, support it consistently and get your head out of the sand.

  • Anonymous

    When the Dumbocrat’s screw up I think he takes his shots it’s just that the Repugnants give him soooo much more material.

    I agree that he could go farther on the corporate control of the system, but if he did he would be off the air! Think how little it took to get Phil Donahue off the air.

    He does what they let him do and for that we should laugh and be thankful. The change that you desire requires feet in the street not butts in a studio or asses on a couch!

  • Anonymous

    You could be right. Still, a guy can dream. Half an hour every night with Stewart’s viewership and wit would probably put more of those feet on the street if he didn’t tend to guide them off toward the voting booths for the apparent “lesser of two evils” (as if there were *really* two…)

  • Anonymous

    Who will pay for the wars and spending of the previous administration? They left us a pretty steep bill.

  • Anonymous

    This was great…. talk about a slam dunk

  • Walt

    Actually, there really is a difference. Rather than getting in a pissing match. Just go and read this short essay written by by Bernard Weiner, Ph.D. in government & international relations (who is smarter than both of us) over and The Crisis Papers before you comment:

    http://crisispapers.org/essays10w/november.htm

    As for Jon Stewart. I have been watching him for a long time. I think he is brilliant with what he does. I think George Carlin, who was brilliant, would appreciate Jon Stewart for what he does. Not everybody got Carlin. And let’s face it. Shit has been going on since this nation was founded. Always has, always will. The great progressives battles that have been won in this country like, ending slavery, child abuse labor, giving women the right to vote, passing SSN and the Civil Rights Act to name a few took years upon decades to win.

  • Anonymous

    Shit will continue to go on like this for as long as nations go on. As long as you have a group of people who are given the moral privilege to take what they want by force and implement their ideas at gunpoint, those people will always end up being thugs, cowards, thieves and con-men. The difference between republicans and democrats is the difference between more war in one place vs. another, more stealing from one group vs. another, more privileges given to one giant organization with political connections vs. another, more imprisonment, destruction, rape, murder, and exploitation with one group at the helm vs. the other. In the broader spectrum of values, positions, interests, beliefs and ethics the two political parties in the U.S. are so close together as to be indistinguishable on the spectrum. Supporting one will not stave off the predations of the other, let alone reverse it; it will only shift focus. The political system is not the answer and never has been, and it has never solved any problem in the history of mankind – at best, it follows social change when and only when it becomes impossible to sustain itself contrary to the will and consent of a sufficient number of people to otherwise overthrow it completely.

    I don’t intend a pissing match at all, there’s not even a foundation for conflict really.

  • Walt

    No conflict except that you didn’t read the essay I linked you. I only jokingly referred to the pissing match based upon comments I have made to others who follow what you believe. I don’t get “the political system is not the answer.” What I like about Bernard Weiner’s writings is he understands fully where you are coming from. He just a bit more rational on his conclusions.

    I know the conflict we are having hear is nothing new in our history. And I know within this political system, my parent’s generation was part of the greatest middle class growth in our country’s young history and they ended up better off then we are today. And I know if we had a Democrat president in there instead of Bush things would have been different. And one of the things that would be different would be Roberts and Alito would not be on the Supreme Court. And the Citizens United ruling would have never happened. The Supreme Court is often the most powerful branch of the government.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/42THFKXIPMJHQBIH6OPI4RVIDY Thebes

    Its all lip service.

    The Rethuglicans don’t care any more for liberty or the common man than the Demonrats do.

    Its all the same party, just slightly different factions benefiting different corporations: More Security, More War, Big Business, Domestic Spying, Nakid Bodyscans along with Creepy Internet Scans to make sure you’re not a supporter of Pedobear.

  • Anonymous

    Well, at least We The People in the “Professional Left” aren’t in the Tea Potty.

    The Republican Tea Potty is one crappy right-wing movement, with the Tea Potty filled to overflowing with racists, religious bigots, bad spellers, fear-mongerers, and funded through slush funds provided by flush right-wing billionaires, who would just as soon flush all the Tea Potty members as look at them.

    In the Republican Tea Potty floats everyone at Faux News, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, all of them floating in the Tea Potty, along with Flush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Joe Miller, Christine O’Donnell, Sharon Angle, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, all of them floating in the putrid Tea Potty crapper.

    And come November, the Tea Potty “floaters” should be flushed along with the Tea Potty Republican’s pledge to destroy America. Down the Tea Potty crapper, into the sewer where they belong!!!!

  • Anonymous

    Republicans are like parrots! They only know what Rush Limbaugh wants them to know!

  • Anonymous

    Jeez,only 33 comments. That’s pathetic for an icon like Stewart.

    Stewart and Colbert: Same shit we have heard before.

    This duo fell asleep for the last 5 years with their writing staff looking like drug addicts and fat girls. Not funny.

    Try watching Tosh. Offensive for good reasons, akin to us, enemy to stupid. Which you are not.

  • Anonymous

    There is no constitutional authority for demanding that any bill demonstrate its own constitutional authority. That’s for the courts to determine in any case, in the event a bill is challenged.

  • Anonymous

    I actually did read the essay, I just didn’t find it that interesting. when I say the political system is not the answer, I mean relying on politicians to make change happen through the force of law is not only backward but counterproductive. So-called “leaders” (actually just “rulers”, a totally different thing) are reactionary by nature. They’d just as soon things stay exactly the same – predictable, easy, dirty, money and power. They only thing that ever gets them to change is the real threat of falling completely out of power due to social movements beyond their ability to control. Women’s suffrage didn’t come out of the establishment choosing to take pity on women; it came out of the ground-shaking power of women waking up and demanding to be recognized as equal human beings. Civil rights didn’t start with a bunch of politicians who were asked nicely by voters (or even coerced with threats of replacement). It came when the movement became so powerful that it threatened to destabilize the government – and then only as a pale compromise to shut up enough people that the problem could be brushed under the political rug for four decades. Lincoln didn’t end slavery, for that matter – that was purely incidental to a war for political power that he was losing, a last ditch exploitation of slaves to turn things around. No good social change has *ever* come at the point of a gun, and the point of a gun is the only tool government has access to.

    My point is that voting isn’t the answer, politicians aren’t the answer. Both are completely irrelevant. Good change happens when enough people want it badly enough to start making the change without the consent of the establishment. The establishment follows when it has no other choice (and then takes credit, parasitic scum that they are). If you see a problem with the way things are going, do everything you can to solve it yourself.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=520167644 Mary Davila

    I still say EVERY SINGLE SENATOR AND CONGRESSMEN/WOMEN SHOULD BE VOTED OUT PERIOD! Nothing is going to change until they’re voted out or dead.

  • Anonymous

    Just more proof that to be a Republican in Congress, you have to have a lobotomy(with apologies to Ron Paul). Then you can utter complete nonsense and think that you’re being profound. Plus you have no memory of repeating yourself and think that your ideas are refreshing and new. And that somehow, pigs are flying out of your behind because that will have to happen before anything useful will be done for the majority of the people of this country by your ilk.

  • Anonymous

    this should be made into an ad! it’s BRILLIANT!!!

  • Anonymous

    this should be made into an ad! it’s BRILLIANT!!!

  • Ken Swiatek

    Its full name is “Pledge To America Inc.”

  • Anonymous

    Really? You’ve seen this same shit before? Gee, I wonder why! As much as Republicans keep making the same mistakes that are proven idiotic, Stewart and Colbert will continue to entertain and enlighten the American People about how stupid Republicans are, over and over and over.

  • http://www.rawstory.com RawStory

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  • Anonymous

    The not so secret agenda of the “Christian Right” includes outlawing alcohol and beer. Why does no one call them out on this?

    Albert K. Echt

  • http://caffeinesoldier.blogspot.com/ Gray

    On average, of course! So, the median American is still able to come up withsomething moderately clever, like, say, a plot to murder someone. But about 30% are so clueless they should have assistance when trying to cross the street. This regularly shows in the polls, too. Iraq had WMDs, Obama is a socialist muslim, Palin should be president…it’s always about 30% who don’t get it!

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