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Attack of the Christmas-hating Democrat slutburgers!

By Amanda Marcotte
Thursday, December 16, 2010 1:29 EDT
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I couldn’t decided what funny story about full of shit Christian right wingnuts I wanted to blog more, so you’re getting both today.

Item #1: Long time anti-choice hate mongers Joe and Ann Scheidler are claiming someone threw a brick through their window with this note attached.

The note reads:

We are crazy feminist bitches who will destroy your sexist ideas.

(A symbol that appears to be the male and female symbol together with a badly drawn and inaccurate anarchy symbol in the middle. So, it’s like the name Prince went under for awhile, plus what an elderly anti-choicer thinks the anarchy symbol looks like from seeing versions of it in Jack Chick pamphlets.*)

P.S. I’ve had an abortion and no laws could ever stop me. You can’t make Queen Anne’s lace illegal, asshole.

Sadly, a picture of the purportedly broken window was not included in the article, though I’m sure the Scheidlers will take your donations to have it fixed, even without that proof. There’s an address to send checks helpfully provided!

The homosexualist, Prince-loving anarchist abortion party throwers that did this should be ashamed. Now, with that disclaimer out of the way, I have to ask a very serious question: why didn’t they wait a little more time since the last abortion hoax that got nationwide attention. You’d think they would wait at least a month, to give everyone a decent interval in which to start pretending that we can take anything that comes out of an anti-choicer’s mouth in good faith. Next time they stage an incident where a pregnant woman goes up to an abortion clinic and convert before walking in the door for the appointment she didn’t bother to actually make, I hope they give it at least a couple months. Just for decency’s sake.

Why am I so sure that this is a hoax, by the way? Because if real anarchist feminists who spend all their time getting abortions and sex changes—believe me, nothing really caps off that sex change like having an abortion—had done this, they would have called themselves by the proper term, which is not “feminist bitches”, but “lesbian shitasses“. I do realize in this age of the internet, it’s hard to keep up.

Item #2: Leave it to Senator Jim DeMint to find a way to combine the imaginary War on Christmas wingnut obsession with the conservative willingness to burn this country to the ground if they take a few Democrats with it. He’s claiming that it’s sacrilegious to hold votes during the Christmas season.

You can’t jam a major arms control treaty right before Christmas,” he told POLITICO. “What’s going on here is just wrong. This is the most sacred holiday for Christians. They did the same thing last year – they kept everybody here until (Christmas Eve) to force something down everybody’s throat. I think Americans are sick of this.”

Jim DeMint is a filthy liar, starting with his insinuation that Democrats are the ones who are causing this problem. Of course, the only reason that the Senate is meeting so late in the year is because Republicans like DeMint have forced them to. If they didn’t filibuster every single piece of legislation that could get even a single Democratic vote, they would all be home right now sucking down eggnog and whatever other things that Republican politicians enjoy having shoved down their throats. Like Jesse said before, basically every excuse Republicans are churning out now is just lies.

But I really like him pretending that it’s unheard of for people to work on Christmas Eve, or even the week before Christmas. Working anytime in December? Positively un-American, right? Except, of course, for 99% of working Americans who have to work right up until Christmas, often flying or driving home on the night of Christmas Eve. I guess the rest of us don’t count? Or maybe DeMint thinks the only non-sacrilegious Americans are the unemployed, who aren’t working this December. Then again, they aren’t spending a shitload of money on Christmas presents, either, so they probably are toss out of the club, too.

*In actuality, the symbol is the transgender symbol. So actually, it’s all those transgendered people that are getting abortions and then throwing bricks through windows to brag about it. The real question is why didn’t they also draw a pentagram on there, and maybe smear a little blood on it? It could have been way more awesome if it was homosexualist Satanic anarchists who did it.

Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.
 
 
 
 
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