Americans ‘morbidly’ want Sarah Palin as president: Satirical survey

Saturday, January 22, 2011 9:55 EDT
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A majority of Americans said they would merely vote for Sarah Palin for US president to experience the craziness she would unleash in high office, according to a new satirical poll.

“In an Onion News Network survey, 62 percent of Americans said that even though they don’t support Sarah Palin’s politics, they would consider voting for her out of a perverse desire to see what would happen if she were the president,” Brooke Alvarez, host of ONN’s FactZone, said in a report Friday.

Jason Copeland, ONN’s political analyst, added that it would be possible for Palin, the former Republican governor of Alaska who stepped down in the middle of her term, to be elected president with the help of Democrats with a sick sense of wonder.

“In one sampling, 2,000 life-long Democrats were asked, ‘What’s the worst thing that could happen if Sarah Palin were elected president? Wouldn’t you kinda want to find out?’ he explained. “And more than 80 percent of them responded, ‘God, I’m so sorry, but yes.’”

According to the ONN report, respondents guessed that among Palin’s nominees for the US Supreme Court would be FoxNews’ Greta van Susteren, actor Sam Elliot, and an auto mechanic named Gary.

The Onion News Network, the satirical news show that premiered on the IFC cable channel Friday night, also released a “choose your own adventure” style online book entitled Sarah Palin’s Presidency Experience.

“Download this fun, interactive mini-book [PDF] to find out what might happen if Sarah Palin is elected president,” the ONN blog post said.

The 16-page book features the Christian evangelical martial arts expert Chuck Norris as Palin’s vice president; Bill O’Reilly, Secretary of State; and Olympian Sarah Hughes as Secretary of Ice.

On page one of the book, readers can skip to page 16 if they decide to quit after their first week in office.

“Your name will be in every single history book until the end of time,” the book said on page 16. “Good job, Sarah Palin. You were president!”

The Onion News Network will satirize 24-hour news networks in the same vein as The Onion has ridiculed newspapers. Factzone’s Alvarez is played by former Fox News reporter Suzanne Sena.

This video is from The Onion, broadcast Jan 21, 2011.

Morbid Curiosity Leading Many Voters To Support Palin

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