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Vagina-based investment opportunities abound!

By Amanda Marcotte
Wednesday, March 2, 2011 21:53 EDT
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While most of the people involved in right wing attack on contraception are sticking to the talking points (claiming it’s “fiscal conservatism” and conflating contraception/cancer screening/STD testing at Planned Parenthood with abortion), the excitement of finally having a shot at parting some of the poorest and most vulnerable women in the country from reproductive health care is getting a few Republicans a little bit excited. And the cat is coming out of the bag.

Exhibit #1, Sean Hannity:

Sean Hannity, yelling at Juan Williams for suggesting it’s a good thing if women can choose when they give birth: “I’m pro-choice in this sense, Juan. If you choose to get in the back of the car with someone, if you choose to make out with them, if you choose to grab, grope and fondle, if you choose to take one article of clothing off after another, guess what? You made a series of choices, Juan.”

What I enjoyed was the realization that Hannity thinks people stop fucking when they get old enough to have apartments of their own, and don’t have to make out in the back seats of cars. Is this a widespread assumption on the right? It would certainly explain a lot, especially in terms of the drooling voyeurism they exhibit when it comes to this subject, the kind that all too often resembles that of 12-year-olds who just learned really what sex is all about.

But even Hannity can’t top Rep. Steve King, who just created a slogan that will spawn a million T-shirts that you probably only want to wear to feminist meet-ups.

Quote: “Planned Parenthood is invested in promiscuity.”

Well, fuck me with a pogo stick! I wasn’t aware that promiscuity was an investment opportunity. While I have zero doubt that King would describe my 33-year-old unmarried-but-not-a-virgin ass as “promiscuous”, so far I have not made a single red cent off this amazing investment opportunity. And neither, I would add, have the stockholders of Planned Parenthood. Though in their case, that’s because they don’t have any, being a non-profit and all.

Still, I figure that this is a democracy, and if promiscuity is an investment, then it should be up to the people to decide if that’s where we want our tax dollars going. Hey, the advantage is that economic stimulus is especially stimulating, amirite? Obama keeps talking about boring shit like roads and trains and insulation for buildings and better math grades. Personally, I think our investment in promiscuity is way too fucking low, because of it. But I thought I’d create a poll and find out what you, the public, think about our investments in promiscuity.

Is promiscuity a good investment?

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Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte
Amanda Marcotte is a freelance journalist born and bred in Texas, but now living in the writer reserve of Brooklyn. She focuses on feminism, national politics, and pop culture, with the order shifting depending on her mood and the state of the nation.
 
 
 
 
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