I receive e-mails from Mike Huckabee's PAC or committee or whatever the hell it is you run in the stage between having failed to successfully run for President and failing to decide if you're going to do it again. The e-mails generally contain a couple of anecdotes or response pieces which read like your repressed relative sending you e-mails about people they hate, but refusing to curse and seeming all the more bile-filled for it.
Anyway, today's e-mail involved a little anecdote about free speech, in which America's Nice Governor Man reveals his preferred way of dealing with people saying things he doesn't approve of: screaming at them until your voice gives out, and then throwing shit at them.
The Supreme Court ruled that burning an American flag was protected free speech…but they never said people who did it were immune to other people's free speech. A student at LSU got permission from the school to burn a flag in support of another student who took an American flag off the LSU War Memorial and burned it in protest of Osama bin Laden’s killing. But the second student couldn't get a local burn permit, so he just began reading a statement. He discovered, though, that the other students also had free speech rights. They drowned him out by chanting, "USA, USA" and "Go to hell, hippie." Then they also followed the Court's lead by interpreting actions as speech, and began throwing trash and water balloons at him. I assume the water balloons were just in case he HAD gotten the flag lit. Police had to intervene and escort him to a safe location.
It's definitely not the '60s anymore: the student government president gave an impassioned defense – of the crowd with the water balloons. He said, "It's time that my generation stand up for what they believe in and exercise their freedom of speech and let people know that we are not OK with this." My gosh—this ol’ Razorback has to tip my hat to the LSU Tigers on this one.
Yeah! Some guy shows up to make a statement in a public space and other people show up to drown him out! That's fucking free speech right there! Like if I stormed in on a Mike Huckabee speech and screamed until he shut up! That would totally be fucking awesome, especially if I started condemning him to eternal damnation. I might even insult his mother, because seriously, I don't have a ton of balloons on hand and my rotator cuff hurts.
Throwing garbage and water balloons at people is a nice touch, though. Some PC states have classified such actions as "battery", but those are also states where homosexuals and immigrants can vote three times for gay sex on public television. (Liberal lawyers call that a "tax levy".)
If Mike Huckabee doesn't run for president, then I sincerely hope he provides a multitude of opportunities over the next year for us to throw hot garbage at him whenever he says things we don't like, such as "Hi, I'm Mike Huckabee."