So last night, whilst lying in bed reading The Hairpin on my phone and trying to go to sleep, I tweeted (I'm so 21st century) a link to this post, with the comment, "Because one should never miss an opportunity to call a woman a bitch to her face for daring to reject you." This remark proved surprisingly controversial, at least by late-on-Thursday-night standards, with a couple of men demanding that I answer for my cavalier attitude towards the ladies of the world who tell you, "My number is 555-5555, now can I please have the conversation with my girlfriend I came here to have?" Fake numbers are so dishonest, you see. I must admit, as somene who has used this tactic to get a creep to unhand me in a public place a time or two, that I still think the fake number is an excellent method for women to take charge of their lives and reclaim the good time from men who have decided to hijack your time in order to make it clear that you are the lucky girl he's selected for future licking of his balls.
In honor of this occasion, I thought I would kick off the Friday Genius Ten with the greatest all-time pop song about the dangers of giving the creepy person (in this case, a lady) your phone number.
Original song: "Hanging on the Telephone" by Blondie
Discussion question: Have things gotten worse now that people don't have to use payphones to phone-stalk you? Does text messaging make giving your number out to the wrong person all the more regrettable? I have no idea. One thing they don't tell you about turning 30 is that it sends out a signal to the douchebags of the world to take no for an answer much faster! I wish someone had said something to me when I was nudging towards that age. We could even make it the theme of 30th birthday parties: Congrats! You now have an extra dose of douchebag repellant. So it's been a few years since I've tempted to give out a fake number to chase a creepster off.
Or you could just leave your own music list. Or both!
1) "Jean Genie" by David Bowie
2) "Going Underground" by The Jam
3) "Oliver's Army" by Elvis Costello
4) "Common People" by Pulp
5) "Peaches" by The Stranglers (talk about creeps!)
6) "Panic" by The Smiths
7) "Road to Nowhere" by The Talking Heads
8) Parklife" by Blur
9) "Don't You Want Me" by Human League (ah fuck yeah)
10) "Laura" by The Scissor Sisters
The weather, as I write this, has become briefly nice. The sun is out, and the cats are enjoying a spot of balcony time. But it will probably be pouring rain soon, so I'm going to get my dancing like Morrissey out while I still feel like it.
It occurs to me that band Panic at the Disco probably got their name from this song, though that phrase never exactly comes into play in the lyrics. But there's a number of bands named after Smiths songs and lyrics: Shakespeare's Sister (though that might also be a reference to the original Virginia Woolf), Pretty Girls Make Graves, and at least one or two others that are passing my mind. (According to Wikipedia, there's also Girl in a Coma, plus Morrissey-inspired bands The Ordinary Boys and The Boy Least Likely To.) Ironically, I would probably start a sing-a-long of "Hang the DJ, hang the DJ" if the DJ played Panic at the Disco.