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Stewart: Republicans are like a box of chocolates

By Andrew Jones
Wednesday, January 4, 2012 9:03 EDT
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The Daily Show's Jon Stewart. Screenshot via Comedy Central.
 
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In his return for the New Year, Jon Stewart said Tuesday evening that once the votes are in, the GOP base would most likely unenthusiastically embrace Mitt Romney in the end.

“It’s a right of passage for Republican voters known as Romspringa,” The Daily Show host said. “Republican voters know they’re going to end up back with Romney much in the way a 16-year-old Amish boy knows that his six months with an iPod will give way to several decades of hand tool barn building.”

Finding humor in Rick Santorum becoming the latest anti-Romney candidate to emerge to the forefront, Stewart decided to compare the field to a box of chocolates.

“Here’s your candidates, let’s call it a white man sampler,” he said. “You’re going to end up with the plain chocolate. You just are. You tried to Bachmann over here, too many nuts.

“The Perry, oh the Perry looks looks great, ‘Can I get the Perry overhere?’ Ah look at the Perry, looks great. But guess what? Almond nougat. Who puts almond nougat in chocolate?”

Stewart continued: “You tried all of them, except this one. This is the one you never tried because you know it sucks. This one, that’s Santorum. It’s the one that has the cherry on the inside. The one you tried to pull off on one of your cousins. And now, it’s bleeding!”

WATCH: Video from Comedy Central, which was broadcast on January 3, 2012.

Andrew Jones
Andrew Jones
Andrew Jones is a staff writer/reporter for Raw Story. Besides covering politics, he is also a freelance sports journalist, as well as a slam poetry and music artist. You can follow him on Twitter @sluggahjells.
 
 
 
 
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