In the secret recesses of my heart, I maintain a list of Famous Jews who are invited to my Fantasy Seder. I wrote about it once, and the list includes such luminaries as Jon Stewart, Barney Frank, and Elena Kagan.
I think I’m going to have to start a second list, though, the These Jews May Never Step Foot in My House list.
Senator Joe Lieberman, for one.
Avigdor Lieberman (Israel’s Foreign Minister), for two.
And as of today, Lee Aronsohn, co-creator of that paragon of comedic greatness, Two and a Half Men, for three.
“Why, Emily?” you ask, and not unreasonably. “Why such an inhospitable attitude toward your brother Lee?” I’ll fucking tell you why:
“Enough, ladies. I get it. You have periods,” he said.
Aronsohn applauded women like Whitney Cummings, Chelsea Handler and Tina Fey securing a voice to discuss formerly taboo subjects on TV.
“But we’re approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation,” he said.
The current boom in female-centric TV contrasts with Two and a Half Men mostly portraying women as bimbos, something Aronsohn isn’t about to apologize for.
“Screw it,” Aronsohn earlier told the Toronto conference during a keynote address. “We’re centering the show on two very damaged men. What makes men damaged? Sorry, it’s women. I never got my heart broken by a man.”
The mind boggles – nay, it reels! There are a handful of shows featuring female protagonists on the teevee – oh noes! Half the population is getting a smidge-bit of coverage! Best stop that mess right now! PEAK VAGINA HAS BEEN REACHED!!1!
There’s a big piece of me that wants to rip this asshole a new asshole, but a blessedly larger piece of me knows that he’s not worth it – nor would he listen, were he (by some bizarre happenstance) to happen upon this post. Any person willing to reduce half of humanity to their reproductive systems and demand they cede the stage to those with different genitalia is not really open to a conversation. Is what I’m thinking.
His bon mots should, however, be borne in mind when we think about the relatively low number of women in positions of power in Hollywood, not to mention the paucity of good roles for women — these facts are not the result of mere bad luck. They are the result of the power wielded by men like Lee Aronsohn, who feel comfortable announcing that they’re sick and tired of lady bits getting all up in their entertainment.
We get it Lee. You have a are a dick!
And if I ever get to hold my Fantasy Seder? You are so not invited!
Emily L. Hauser has been a freelance writer for 20 years. She has contributed to publications such as the Christian Science Monitor, Chicago Tribune, and Dallas Morning News, covering topics ranging from Israel/Palestine and domestic politics, to women’s issues and the occasional burst of geekery. She is a regular columnist at The Daily Beast’s Open Zion, and blogs at Emily L. Hauser In My Head. Follow her on Twitter at @emilylhauser.
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